How do you decide who keeps their job?

[bunnybunyip]

I know there is no answer to this, but we have been mulling over this question all weekend and are no nearer to a decision. DH has been made redundant and we will need to move for him to be able to progress in his career. I can work anywhere, but am in a settled job which I enjoy and is flexible for childcare etc, and it might take me a while to find similar work.
We are settled, near grandparents and have friends in this area.
Has anyone else had to make a decision like this; and how do you go about it?

Difficult. It sounds as if you have a lot to lose! Can your DH not do a weekly commute?

Does your DH actually have a job to go to if he moves?

Would he be earning enough to support the family while you looked for work?
Do you earn enough to support the family while he looks for work now?
It's hard to find work now, I wouldn't make any decisions about moving unless he has a job ready to go to, and can support you in a possibly long hunt for work after the move.

We have moved for my job a couple of times. It is a big strain to move away from family support. We were abroad for 5 years when DCs were small. There was no one to help if one of us was ill.

DH stopped work (or started it) when he was made redundant and took on the fulltime childcare role. For us it made no sense for DH to continue to work when his salary brought in less than we would spend in childcare. This was great for DCs. It worked for us. Now that DCs are bigger he has started work again doing a job he enjoys which is quite different from the job he had before.

I would agree with the advice about not moving unless there is a job to go to.

I wouldnt recommend the weekly commuting route. I have seen it end too many marriages. It works for some I know but for many it doesnt.

Whatever choice you make, remember that it isnt forever. DCs grow and your life changes.

Thanks for the replies. He would have a job to go to if we moved by relocating in his company. We did discuss commuting but we have a 18 month old DS and are thinking about trying for another baby soon, and so it is important for us to be together.
Financially we could just about manage on one salary for a while (especially with his redundancy pay if we stayed put) but it would be very tight. We did consider him doing fulltime childcare, but he is quite ambitious at work and I think he would miss it. He could probably find some work locally but it would't be the same status/potential for promotion.