How do you know when you've moved from dating to being bf/gf?

[Banks]

I just realized that I am unsure of how to think of this new guy I'm seeing. We've only been seeing each other for less than three weeks. We've seen each other six times and have had sex. He has been away on a business trip for the last few days and we talk on the phone for a half an hour every night. When he comes back into town we will see each other that night. I am not dating others, but we have not talked about whether or not we're exclusive. We haven't talked much about the particulars of the relationship (I'm too scared to do so, frankly).

So, what would you call that?

Also, when did you and your dp/dh go from dating to being gf/bf? Did you just know or did you have a Talk about it?

what's happened with other men- he can't be your first!

You are too scared to talk about your relationship, but you are sleeping with him? Time to man up and talk imo

I think it's too soon to talk- 3 weeks!

Everyone is different- some people make it clear on date one that what they want ideally is commitment and exclusivity- with someone.

Others make it clear they just want "fun" - ie sex and no commitment.

Others just go with the flow until it becomes clear that they are not seeing other people or would rather you weren't.

I guess it also depends onwhat you are looking for- by asking the question, it soudns as if you want some sort of sign from him that you are the only one- if not, why are you bothered?

I'd still say it is ridiculously too soon to be thinking of anything long term.

boobooglass, but I don't want to scare him off!

purplepeony, I guess the difference this time is that I had sex with him so soon. I normally wait until hearing "I love you" to do that and that's what's throwing me off, I guess. He hasn't said anything explicit about what he wants yet. I have generally let the guy lead. So, yes, you're right that I want a sign from him. He has given more subtle signals (like asking me to go with him on a business trip, for example) but he has not said anything out loud.

As for it being too soon, don't many people know in an instant that they want to be with someone long term? I've had that before (and had it happen, too). It's not that abnormal, is it?

Have to talk about it to avoid confusion/misunderstandings

Keep this quiet but me and Dh had sex on our 3rd date- he invited me to stay for the weekend. we have now been married 26 years.

ours was a long dist. thing, and I suppose it just gradually became clear that at weekends we were keen to see each other and no one else.

However, we never had that "conversation" for about 18 months after which time I was getting fed up with travelling.

Even after the conversation he was hesitant about committing- so I backed off and started seeing other guys. Needless to say it drove him mad and he proposed.

You have admitted your mistake- if it is one- getting too emotionally involved after getting your knickers off- but you are right that any attempt to discuss will send him running.

I think you have to bite your tongue and see how it pans out.

IT totally depends on the people and how fast you both want it to go.

Look at the "new boyfriends" thread

You just have to play it by ear.

btw i dont think there is anything wrong with sleeping with someone before they tell you they love you - i never have!!!! and sometimes you dont have those feelings until you have been intimate with someone.