How do I tell my new bf about some really crazy things my ex dh did?

[Banks]

I'm a photographer and my soon to be ex dh threw all of my prints off the balcony (thousands of dollars and years of work's worth). It was raining and they were all destroyed for the most part by the time I was able to get away and try to colelct them. It's utterly heartbreaking and, to boot, I have zero cash to replace them as ex dh has cut me off of all the finances.

I have been trying to keep new bf as separate from the crazy drama as possible, but he keep asking to see my work. My website is down, too, as the payments for the hosting service have stopped due to dh cutting me off the finances. All I have is some backups on ONE external hard drive that I managed to grab as I was leaving. So that's something. DH has all the other drives deleted the files from the tower that I used. I have no idea if my work even still exists.

What do I tell the new guy? How do I explain where my work went? I do not even have the money to make cheap drug store prints of the few remaining files I have (but thank god I have SOMETHING). Help?

be honest show him the few you have!

Be honest & show him #2 :)
Contact the hosting service asap. It's very unlikely they'll have deleted your site yet, it'll be backed up somewhere. Can you afford to get it back up now?

Sorry, I meant restart your hosting service (too many backs & ups there!)

Its not about the photos really though is it? What you seem to be worrying about is whether if you explain some of the mad stuff your ex did, it will tarnish your relationship with the new man.

That is different from whether you can retrieve your work from the vortex. That just takes a cash injection to sort out the situation. is there any way you can do that without involving new guy?

What a shit your ex was, by the way!

whenallelsefailsmaketea, exactly. And it opens the whole can of worms of "what the hell else went on" when a HELL of a lot else went on that I don't want to talk about...

The work is an issue, a HUGE issue, but that is sorta almost separate in a way from me feeling scared that I'll scare away the new guy. :(

How new is 'new' (boyf)?

If you aren't yet comfortable with divulging what happened between you and your H, then don't!

It might be worth explaining that your prints were destroyed and your website is currently not accessible and leave it at that.

By approaching it in this way, you wouldn't be lying but would be drawing a boundary around what you are comfortable with discussing, which is perfectly reasonable - in fact I'd say imperative, particularly at the start of a new relationship, particularly when issues of violence or abuse occurred in the previous one.

You are entitled to privacy and sensitivity. Don't feel uncomfortable about protecting those rights with someone new to your life.

Bast, he is VERY new as in I met him only three weeks ago new. In fact, I don't even know if "bf" is the right term. Maybe I should still be saying "guy I'm dating". That said, he is very into me and is trying to press for greater emotional intimacy.

I guess my issue is that I would like to be able to tell him in some ways, but I am just scared of being rejected. This is my first relationship after ex h and it would feel terrible to think that men are going to run when they hear what's going on. Also, isn't he entitled to know these kinds of things so that he can decide whether or not he wants to stay?

Leave it till you've both said ILY and meant it. Gives you a simple deadline and nothing like this is any of his business till then, to be honest. In the meantime, concentrate on sorting you own life/work/money out - that's the most important thing.