Why oh why is she doing this to me? Just another [angry] rant!

[TequilaMockinBird]

previous thread here

DD was at my brothers at the weekend and mum and the delightful Pete dropped in to see him. They didnt know DD was there, she hasnt seen them for a few weeks as I've made sure we were always out or 'busy' when it came to the time mum usually takes her.

Anyway, they started talking about the wedding. They has now terrified DD about going because 'you have to be very careful swimming in the sea because of the sharks', 'you cant walk outside of the hotel or along the beach because there are people with knives and guns looking for tourists' and 'we knew someone who went there and ended up in hospital because of the food' amongst other things! WTF!

DD came home and was a bit down but wouldnt tell me what was wrong. After spending a couple of hours in her room, I went up and eventually got it out of her what they had said to her. Why the fuck would you tell a child that? Besides the fact it isnt even true, they must've known that it would terrify my poor DD!

DP and I spent ages talking to DD and googling things on the internet to show her that what mum had said wasnt true. At one point DD actually said she didnt want to come with us anymore because she was frightened and would rather stay here with her dad

DD has calmed down and is reassured now but what the fuck is my stupid twat of a mother playing at now? Just because she isnt going, is she going to make it hell for everybody else? I could kill her, I really could. I hate her more than anything in the world. DD will not be going anywhere near them in the near future, I've had enough now. I was going to ring them and tell them exactly what I thought of them but no, I'm going to rise above it and just ignore the sad pathetic pair.

Sorry to keep venting on here, but without this I may well have driven up to her house and strangled them on the doorstep .

I'm just waiting for them to start their horror stories or guilt trips with my brother next, trying to stop him from coming with us too!

ARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Fucking Hell, your mum is mad mad mad. Awful selfish twatish thing to do. Erase them from your life.

I think you need to make it clear to your DD that your mother has issues, is not a very nice person, and deliberately set out to ruin her holiday because she is jealous. How old is she? Your DD I mean...

I've just looked at the other thread you linked to and I think your mother is a self-absorbed, spineless arse of a woman. I'm amazed you haven't told her to F off long before now. Sorry - nothing helpful to say except that if she really is as awful as you say then you'd do yourself huge favour by just stopping contact. You'll feel better for it in the long run. Now her honeymnoon period with Pete is over, and she's older and more needy she wants to pick up where she left off, and act like nothing happened, and she's making you feel bad for not dropping everything to accomodate her. You owe her nothing and you will do just fine without her.

DD is 12

Since the previous thread (and also another one which isnt linked to here!), I have really distanced myself. She rarely rings anyway to be honest, and if she does its only once a week to see if she DD wants to go shopping with her. Thats when I'm always busy or out somewhere!

I hope I never have to see or speak to her again, but i know DD will want to. That's the bit i need to work on, and I will do now.

Totally agree with the previous posters up there ^

Your Mum is toxic - avoid avoid avoid

Your poor DD being scared by then wtf were they thinking????

Am unfortunately not all that surprised to read of what has happened now given the past behaviours of the toxic twosome. These two narcs don't care about anyone except themselves and just regard other people as completely unnecessary.

Infact this is what I wrote last time to you re your DD:-

"Your mum will start on her in time (infact she has made snide comments to her re your own appearance. She knows your DD will tell you what was said and your mother is using your child to get back at you) and her partner "pete" is also a shit of the first order. I remember from your initial post too that these two did not allow your DD to use their toilet because he was just about to go in the bath!. She has been a toxic parent to you and she will in all likelihood be a toxic grandparent to your DD. Please think twice about allowing your DD to be in their company in any way, shape or form from now on. These two honestly don't give a toss about anyone except their own narcissitic selves".

Cut them both off as of now, your DD does not need these two toxic people in her life either. All these two do is suck the very life out of you; they are emotional vampires.

These two will never ever play by the "normal" rules governing familial behaviours because they cannot so none of you should engage at all with them.

If you do not already do so screen your calls via Caller Identity (where the number flashes up on the phone) and obtain an answering machine.

TMB, I think you need to take the excellent advice you have already been given on this (and previous) threads

Please cut these miserable individuals out of your life, you know that continuing the relationship will only bring more heartbreak to you or to your dd. And have a lovely holiday without them.

Attila, yes you were right, they have now started on her

Good idea re screening the calls, I think I shall just ignore them altogether as getting into an argument/confrontation with them is probably just what they are looking for! I wont give them that satisfaction, I will just 'disappear'.

I have taken all the excellent advice which I've been given on board. And have actually already cut them out to a large extent. This post was more of a vent to be honest. I needed to write it down somewhere or I would've burst with anger!

Yes, I too have seen your previous threads, though have not commented as you've always received excellent advice - but now I really think you must know what you have to do.

What ^^ they all said.

Seriously, you are not doing your daughter any favours at all by staying in contact with this woman.

PLEASE don't let them have contact with her.

Enough is enough