I know it sounds completely selfish worrying about this at a funeral and it's frustrating because I wish i could just focus on the funeral, but... an ex i was with for 5 years, not father of dd, might be there. I have a feeling he will completely blank me if he's there, and i don't know why but that thought is bothering me. What i want to know is, should i go up to HIM and say hello, at risk of being shunned? I have kind of been wanting to bump into him, just for the closure element, but feel really awkward about talking to him! Plus there are things i weirdly want him to know, eg that i DIDN'T have an affair (i'm sure he thinks I did, esp as i got pregnant not long after we split, and also got another boyfriend (also not dd's dad) not long after too). I also want him to know who dd's dad is because I reckon he thinks it's someone who it's not. Not that any of this really matters in our lives any more, i just inexplicably want him to know... but of course bumping into him at the funeral is not the place to have a heart to heart anyway, even if i could under normal circumstances!!
I guess it would be nice to have an element of civility there between us, but it's not likely knowing him.