Difference between a man's woman and a woman's woman

[sonnyday]

Today I heard one mum describe another as "a man's woman, not really a woman's woman" feel a bit stupid asking, but what does it imply and is it an insult?

I do agree with notquitenormal too, but I was trying to be a bit more right on and describe the proper use of the term :(

A couple of my friends are very, very, beautiful, and they are often victims of this, which is really unfair as they are lovely.

David Niven once called Clark Gable a "man's man" and his wife as "a man's woman" and said that this combination can work but then said their relationship was doomed because they were both also so selfish.

I have always taken "man's woman" to be a woman who will prioritise the male opinion and attention over those of women, and would dress to please a man every time. She would also want to get male attention as a proof of her self worth.

A woman's woman is someone who will be a friend and not try to sleep with your DH.

So "man's woman" is a derogatory term in that sense although it can just be a recognition of a woman who does not seek out female friends.

I'm a woman's woman and also...ermm ..attractive but have lots of female friends.
I do get on ok with blokes but prefer the company of women. Although dp is top of my list of friends along with dss. Having said that one of my best friends is a straight single man but he prefers the company of women too.

I have a friend who's a man's woman but not in a good way. She really rubs women up the wrong way with her desperate acts of attention seeking. I still love her though

Mmmm. I think that people who bandy about sour little phrases like 'man pleaser' are often rather insecure ans secretly envious. I say this as someone who treasures both her female and male friendships. I mean, who are these people to decide whether someone has 'dressed to please a man' or dressed to please themselves? I suppose they imagine that wearing anything other than a fleece and M&S high waisted jeans is 'dressing to please a man' (gadzooks! The very idea!)

Do you guys think women feel threatened by other women who are very attractive?

Not all women, Sonnyday, no. Not the nice, sensible ones. But a vociferous minority - for sure.

Seems it's ok to be called a man's man but not a man's woman? I have friends who are female and mix better with men (in a good way) and would find it a compliment. Depends on the situation I suppose?

Sonnyday I do FEEL threatened, but I know it's stupid so I just act friendly like I would to anyone else.
I'm not massively "lookist" anyway, I really do think it's what's on the inside that counts.

Reality's right there: some women say things like that when all they mean is 'I think she's prettier than me so she must be eeevil!'

Mind you, I once came a little unstuck over this issue: had a new office colleague who was pretty and very friendly to everyone, particularly the male staff. One of my other female colleagues (who was the type who sometimes took issue with pretty women and who was massively insecure about her own appearance) obviously didn't much like the newcomer, and I thought she was being a bit silly and unkind. THe newcomer turned out to be one of the most toxic people I have ever encountered and definitely someone who used her 'feminine wiles' to get her own way. I got all sorts of grief which I might have avoided had I not been trying to show that I wasn't 'jealous of a pretty face'.

Agree with RealityBomb, it is very often used unfairly from a jealous motivation.

However, if we weren't encouraged to believe that as women, our entire worth is measurable by how "sexy" we are, that sort of attitude wouldn't be as prevalent.

I was once shocked when friends laughed out loud when I proclaimed not to flirt. Apparently I do Although to be fair it's probably around both sexes even though I'm straight. I just love attention

Has no one said let's blame the meeja yet?

I think some people probably use it to mean "someone who spends a lot of time grooming herself and therefore may be attractive to men ENVY ENVY"

But the best example of a "woman-hating woman" was the head of one of the local schools, who just would not work with women, would only promote men and work with the male governors. Most of the female governors got fed up and some left etc. She wasn't especially beautiful or glamorous, she just didn't like women much.

the other thread about DH's being man's man or woman's man is interesting too though as they seem to fall into 2 categories like here: a woman's man can either be someone who is in touch with his feminine side and makes women feel comfortable and unthreatened in his company, or he's a cheating wanker who loves too many women too much

I've often been called a gay man in a woman's body...not sure if it's an insult or a compliment seeing as I'm not very camp, have a hatred for musicals and can only bear shopping trips for a max of an hour.

I think it's cos I like cock...but doesn't that just make me a straigh woman?

I'm a gay man's woman

elephants...sounds like maggie thatcher who had the least women in her cabinet of any government since the war...

I dont think that being described as a man's woman or woman's woman is solely down to looks. I believe it is mainly down to the bahaviour of the individual. A man's woman may give the impression that she doesn't really like woman.
Both Cheryl Cole and Danni M. are beautiful, but CC is a woman's woman (despite the fact that many women appear not to like her) and DM is a man's woman (despite the fact that many women like her)

No, it's not about appearance at all. Like SGB, I have a real issue when other women seem to instantly take a dislike to a beautiful woman and want to put her down and find other "faults" in her.

The behaviour I think many of us dislike is when a woman appears to be doing a mental check on meeting you; looking you up and down, assessing what dress size you are, your clothes, your face, your hair - and comparing instantly whether in her opinion, you are more/less attractive than her. It's so obvious when it happens - people's body language and facial expressions betray far more than they realise.

This is often accompanied by the other behaviour described: valuing men's contributions more, literally "seeing through" the women in a group and dismissing them, when in discourse about another woman, focusing on that woman's appearance first, before any of her other attributes are discussed, denying that sexism exists, being more forgiving of male faults and excoriating about women's (men will be men etc.).

As an observation incidentally, these are just the sort of women who vilify ex-wives, blame women exclusively for why their marriages ended, run themselves into the ground trying to be the perfect woman for "their man", pretend to like porn and accuse women who dislike it of being insecure/sex-haters and the theme that runs through their lives is that they see all women as competition and rivals in a marketplace.

^yes yes and yes to this.

Gosh, WWIFN, you have just described a few people I know

perfect of the term a "man's woman" used in a derogatory way here

even the bloke seems nonplussed by her behaviour

WWIFN but I personally wouldn't describe that as a man's woman...a woman-hater, or so insecure she can't be around other women, or uber bitch yes, but not a man's woman

I don't think the distinction needs to be made. Men don't really make it. It seems to be made, in a most unsisterly and snide way, by women against each other.

Women who have the temerity to be close friends with men, to like us, to enjoy our company and so on, seem to be sneeringly called "a man's woman" (or "not really a girl's girl", which I have also heard) as if liking men somehow prevents them from being friends with other women, or they are somehow being treacherous. It's basically nonsense.

Agree with Yuno (could have been describing me to a tee!) and WWIFN last post is very insightful. Also describes a lot of men I know too!