Oh the rows I have had with all sorts of people, out loud too! The emails I have written and filed in Drafts only to delete them later... it helps. It all helps.
Your XH letting you go is a whole other kettle of fish to not wanting you back. He can't sever ties with the past, cos it would prove he failed.
You know what fragile egos these kind of men are, it's the reason why his head turned in the first place. He didn't have the strength to say I'm Married and this is not going to happen. He doesn't have the strength to say, 'That's it, it's over'.
Do you have to have his agreement to sell the house? Is the house transferred into your sole name?
This is your life now, if you want to move, go ahead.
Mind you, my dad left my mum after 22 years of marriage. I was 16. He gave her the house, paid all her bills for 18m. She kept the house on, is still there.
She always said that it was, for her, the best thing she did. She faced the memories and made new ones. The house is hers. On the rare occasions Dad has been there, it's him that feels uncomfortable there, not her. It's her house, 100%. Much to the chagrin of her new H, together for 18 years, married for 5.
The OW in my Dad's story is utterly insecure, we were banned from the home in 95. Dad tried to reunite us all last Christmas, but when I heard that he'd have to negotiate with her, i told him to stick it. After all this time, all the years she has been married that she can't open her arms and welcome his flesh and blood FOR HIM, then she clearly doesn't love him enough then does she. Or, I said, that he isn't Man enough, Dad enough to stand up to her in the house HE bought and say they are my kids, I'll invite them if I want.
Don't think I'll be getting an invite anytime soon.
I can't forgive her for the stuff she has personally done to try to sabotage our relationship with Dad, and no amount of grey hair or wrinkles will make me think that it's OK now.
As I asked him, What IS the statute of limitation for WRECKING a family? When IS what they did OK? When the answer to that is found, then I'll accept them.
Well Weebles Wobble but they don't fall down! You won't fall down, not ever, cos we won't let you.
The OW has NOTHING on you! she can't come on here and cry on our shoulders, cos she'd get roasted.
You have dignity, which she'll never ever have. She can't hold her head high, she won't occupy any position of respect, because OW don't deserve it. She will only have guilt, insecurity, and fear that one day SHE'LL get traded in for a newer model.
She'll be looking over her shoulder for a good few years yet. You only need look toward the future!
I know who I'D rather be!