Don?t know if anyone will be able to make any suggestions as to my current situation, but I?m sure that even just getting it all described and typed out will do me some good.
I live with my boyfriend of 6 years. We are happy together, get along well and have 1 child. The only fly in the ointment is my BF?s younger sister. She is three years younger than him and slowly driving a rift between me and my BF.
To give you a bit of background, their parents split up when they were growing up and his sister has never got along with their Dad?s new wife. They both blame the new wife, who isn?t the nicest person in the world but not that bad. Basically, my BF has watched over his sister since the split happened and I think feels a bit responsible for her.
The woman (now 31), is extremely standoffish, abrupt, rude and behaves much like a teenager. She?s heavily overweight, moans all the time and lives on her own. As they were growing up. she hung around with my boyfriend a lot and his ex of 7 years. When they split, she remained friends with her. Back to that in a minute?
My BF knows that I don?t really like his sister. Despite my efforts to get along with her, she?s repeatedly said and done things to hurt/upset me. She also really wants more to do with our baby, but she really isn?t responsible enough. As it stands I am happy for her to watch him for the odd hour or so, or to babysit when he?s asleep, but she wants him over to stay at hers all the time. She?s had other children in her care and they?ve ended up in casualty due to her negligence and stupidity, so I keep saying no to this but my BF hates me for it and says I should give her a chance.
When I had my son, she came to visit the day after and sat talking about my BF?s ex?s baby ? to MY family and friends?! She makes nasty comments about the way I dress my little lad, she grabs him when we go visiting the whole family and takes him away so she has him to herself. God, the list is endless!
Right now, their Dad is terminally ill. BF?s sister practically lives at the hospital and refuses to leave his side, which is understandable, but she doesn?t even let his wife have time alone with him, which is awful to see. But again, my BF doesn?t say anything to her, he just defends her.
Finally, she has planned a birthday party in a few months time, invited all the family ? and my BF?s ex! She?s already been told by my BF, that if his ex is present at events, we won?t be going, but with all that is going on, I think she may well turn on the waterworks on the day in an attempt to persuade my BF to go ? just to upset me. She'd absolutely love for me to be at home on my on and my BF to be there with her and his ex and me completely left out.
This may sound petty, but this is a person who told everyone she had swine flu, and took two weeks off work, yet displayed none of the symptoms. She calls her step mother to high heaven to anyone that will listen, she doesn?t get on well with her own mother and treats her really badly, for no apparent reason. She only ever wants my BF, their Dad, or our son. Their step sister is my friend and also sees this woman for what she is, as do many other people who know her. The only person who seemingly can?t see it is my BF.
Has anyone any advice at all? With my BF?s Dad so ill, now is not really the time to be bringing this up and I will of course, wait the weeks, months ? however long, until the time is right to discuss this with him, it?s just making me so unhappy. She is even using the current situation with their dad, to manipulate my BF. She tells him to visit on his own or just with our son, as too many visitors tire their Dad out, yet she sits there all day with two of her friends. The woman is just a real nasty piece of work.
I?m starting to wonder if I can continue my relationship with my boyfriend if this is how life is going to be ? him getting angry at me for not welcoming her into our lives, while she makes her snidey remarks, manipulates my BF and causes arguments..