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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

worried that it really does matter

2 replies

silverware · 31/10/2010 22:15

I met someone new a few weeks ago and after some past rubbish relationships, this one feels just right and we have clicked.

For the first time I have met someone who is kind, supportive, has the ability to listen, funny, empathetic, considerate and so far just an all round fantastic person.

Altogether we have alot in common personality wise, however there is one major concern that is really worrying me and it doesn't matter what friends say, I'm still really worried that this may be a long term deal breaker.

I've been a single Mum for many years and have two teenage DS's. I have always worked but never earned enough to buy my own place and do struggle to make ends meet, and sometimes/quite often there really isn't enough to go round.

However he is a high earner and also seems to come from 'money' and although is very down to earth, has always lived a very priviledged life.

I am probably to proud and would hate to be perceived as a taker. I honestly don't care what he has, in fact it is off-putting, but I do think an awful lot as him as a person.

As yet he hasn't been to my house, it's OK although a little tatty around the edges and I suppose that I'm a little ashamed of it(possibly not helped by my ex telling me that it wasn't to the standard that he was used to)

I havn't lied but I also havn't been fully up-front about my situation and I'm frightened that although I'm sure that initally he will say it really isn't a problem, the reality is that in the long term I couldn't even begin to keep up with him, to pay for a weekend away would take quite some saving and I think that this is going to cause problems in the long term.

I know some of the advice is that it is early days, but I'm falling fast and don't want to get involved in a realtionship that has a big stumbling block from the start.

Has anyone else been in the same situation? what do I do/say?

OP posts:
ShinySoloSparklySolo · 31/10/2010 22:28

If he is into you he wont care. Must admit, I am avoiding meeting anyone new and that is one of the many reasons.

Perhaps you should just be upfront with him and if he's not shallow about such things, then you'll know in time and if he is ~ his loss and lucky escape for you.

Good luck.

winnybella · 31/10/2010 22:40

Nah, if he's really into you and a reasonable person, he won't care.

FWIW DP comes from posh family etc and when I met him he had definitely more money than me (not now as he went through his savings, but that's another story) and it never mattered. Not having a lot of money is nothing to be ashamed of. Don't try to hide it.

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