ok could be long but still cant get over the fact that dp had a text thing with my ex best friend for how long i dont know but im pretty sure it had been from nearly the start. we would meet there as it was halfway between where we lived. sometimes if i suggested we went out he would invite her without asking me first. if we fell out he would get us speaking again. i started to get suspicious but he said i was being daft. i then got a car and decided i didnt want her to be such a big part as i didnt trust her like i used to so that was fine we didnt see her as much as we used to but he would still text her and she would text him to ask how i was ffs. not long before i had dd i saw a message saying he still got feeling when he seen the pic of her on his phone. still dont know what pic as it had been deleted. i was really hurt and upset and very pregnant at the time. anyway we talked about it and said we would put it behind us. then after dd was born i saw his phone again and saw he was still texting her i also saw the phonebill and there was £75 on premium numbers when i asked what they were he just said compititions which i laughed at so he admited they were those kind of lines. the bit that hurt the most was some of them were the night dd was born. what was he thinking, nothing could be better than becoming a dad but he had to go and do that. there was also some when dd had been taken into hospital as she stopped breathing. i asked him to stay with us and he said he had to work but he could still phone these at 2 in the morning. he says he couldnt have done anything for her anyway he just didnt understand i didnt want him there for her i needed him there for me. this was all ages ago but i still cant get over it and we havent had sex since dd was born im just not interested. really dont know what to do. i lie awake sometimes thinking why am i here or more to the point why is he here when were obviously not enough for him. sorry for going on and thanx if you got this far. dont know if i want advice (but feel free to give) just needed to get it out my head.