any advice

[watchme]

hi i would welcome some female words of wisdom /advice on the terrible situation my 2 kids and i find ourselves in mypartner and i split up she used to be the best mum in the world to our kids never a hair out of place clean kit always home cooked meals etc. she has started drinking she never used to staying out for several nights in a row at work mates houses she said she does not want the kids any more and they have been with me now for 2 weeks she refuses to have any cintact with me and has not spoken to the kids in 2 weeks the break up was over nothing no violence,cheating drugs etc she is 41 and has lost 3,4 dress sizes not by dieting she was very moral of great character we are all baffled by this m.l.c she says there no one else and she is doi mg this for her in the meantime there are 2 heartbroken kids ,and dad we are all so cofused

i used to ask is there any thing you are worried about phisically any lumps headaches etc but she seemed totally at ease when asked allways said no im fine just dont know wher im going in my head/life she has not spoke to me for over 2 weeks now finally sending a text saying dont contact me again she may well have missed out on fun we all would like to hop off the merry go round of life but at the expense of 2 smashing kids i personally think thats a very high price for fun it just seems she has cut these kids out of her life which is something she would never do sad

I think you could spend a lot of time analysing why this has happened but the reason will come out in the end , whether she is physically/mentally ill or simply rebelling against life itself.

The important thing is how you are coping, so how are YOU? (If you are 'getting on with it' then ultimately the kids will be OK.)

Have you got support from friends/rellies? I have had a recent health scare and one of my friends suggested I get everyone together and tell them what I need and I think that is a good idea in your situation also.

You could ask for people to help out with meals, picking the kids up from school, lift sharing to any clubs they do, help with cleaning, organising shopping and even babysitting so you can have a night off.

Best of luck :)

just found out that she has been dating some guy off a internet site !!!!! she would rather go out with a complete stranger than come and see her 2 kids in 3 weeks gutted totally gutted

I think she's going through a mid life crises. Look after yourself, your interests and the interests of your dc. Like many parents who walk out on their children she will probably eventually realise what she's done but you need to concern yourself with the here and now.