Is it alright to ask a man out?

[quizling]

Forgive my very 1950s question!

I read 'The Rules' at an impressionable age, and now have a lingering belief that if you make the first move on a man you will burst the special magic attraction bubble, and he won't ever fancy you properly.

I met someone recently who I like - he's a friend of a friend. Usually I would wait for him to ask me out (obviously dependent on him fancying me!) but one of our mutual friends said that if I did this I would be waiting forever, as Man in Question would never imagine I would be interested in him (I think he is quite shy).

So my question is: Should I make the first move somehow (and if so, how?) or should I wait and think that if he likes me enough, he will do something about it.

I am not 15 years old, btw, even though it may sound like it! Just trying to get back into a relationship after a hiatus, and have never made the first move before.

Thanks!

when i was friends with my now dh he told me he never asked girls out that his relationhips had just happened, we flirted for months i had had the thunderbolt feeling as soon as i saw him , after months of flirting i thought life is too short bit the bullet and asked him if he fancied going for a drink one night he said yes , we went out a few times as friends the flirting lead to some cheeky snogs and he asked me to be his girlfriend on my birthday we are now happily married with a ds and i dont think this would have happened if i hadnt made that first move,
go for it what have you got to lose? worst that can happen is he says no you feel a bit for a while then meet someone who does like you its win win
if you can get him talking about a shared interest maybe a film you know he would like he will say he wants to see it then you could say i really want to too , do you fancy coming with me on sat? keep it casual if it is going to evolve it will if not you have made another friend

What rules are these then??

Obviously totally passed me by

I've never asked a man out - they've always got there first .

But I would do if I fancied one

Actually I nearly did the other day, but decided not to as he had already (literally) stopped traffic to let me cross the road, figure that trying to set up a date was only going to serve to piss off the drivers behind him even more