Child Contact - Grrr!

[gingercrls]

My husband has been an immature pig through separation (March). Has already started seeing another woman with 2 children, does not live near his daughter with me. He has had 10 visits with her totalling 70 hours since March.

Last week things became nasty with the girlfriend (have posted before) and now he refuses to respond to me at all. He has been so immature about everything and communication has been practically non existent. He was supposed to phone daughter last night and didnt and only emailed her today after I sent email saying not right to ignore her.

So he emails her saying he will see her Saturday and she must check with me it's ok. Firstly, isn't contact supposed to be regular, not just he chooses and I must be available and secondly how dare he try and organize through out 8 year old child! I am soooooooooooooo annoyed. He frustrates the living daylights out of me and I am permanently stressed. I think he is like no other man on the planet.

Any advice as to way forward with idiot who won't communicate? How can things be amicable when he is like this? His behaviour drives me to insane heights!!!

Btw, he paid half maintenance at weekend, no explanation as to when I can expect the rest. He has dropped contact with everyone he knows including his family. He is a nut job. Last week spent an hour sobbing on phone to me. Threatened to kill himself. Now Mr Nasty. He has wasted all our money, left me in debt. We were married 12 years!!!!!

First off, I would go through the CSA for maintenance, otherwise he will just mess you around. They are far from ideal, but better than this mess.

Did you discuss contact arrangements when you split up? It's not on to put dd on the spot with this as he is doing. It should be regular contact, and at a time that suits you both. If he is still messing around i would think its worth asking for some mediation. If he wont agree to that, it looks like you could refuse the haphazerd contact requests and let him go to court for a court order. Do you think he would?

Is your dd missing him and upset by the lack of contact?

Re: CSA - he isn't really working properly. He is self employed and just waits for work to fall into his lap (idle). So I would prob be worse off. He knows it.

I've tried to get him to see our daughter regularly but six weeks intervals were happing between each visit. In fact, it's only recently he's started being a little better about it. It doesn't matter what you say or what he agrees, he just does his own thing. He isn't parenting, just visiting. He hasn't helped me out during any holidays. He's like a child. And if I say something to upset him, we go back to ignoring. He also owes me money but says he can't afford to pay it, then acts like he is giving me a handout if I ask for an extra £50! Also, I made plans for Saturday and now he wants to see her.

My daughter is actually spending more quality time with him that she ever did when he was here, which is the only thing I am pleased about. She was upset he didn't phone when he said she would, but she seems ok when she doesn't see him. I'm so sick of him. It's frustrating dealing with him and he makes out like it's me. Re court - I can't seem him doing it because he has no money. He always needed a push in the marriage and since he has left he is worse.

Thanks for the advice!