Do you judge a partner by your previous experiences?

[readywithwellies]

I was married, exh had affair, left me and now divorced.

I can't help worrying this will happen to me in my new relationship, even though I have absolutely no reason to think it will. DP is loyal to friends, never cheated on exw etc.

Anyone else feel like this and anyone got any advice other than to pull myself together?

So so sorry - READY - hope youve read the whole thread or you'll think I'm a lune - it was GINGER whose DH left at 8mths pregnant - not you. Could cause a riot in a vacuum me - think I better stick to making fences from now on.

< bang bang bang - head on wall - not hammer on nail >

Suda - love the picket fence thanks.

EXh did not cheat on me when I was pregnant though, he waited until ds was 4 and dd 1. Stayed long enough so when he did leave ds was heartbroken. Which is another reason I find it so hard to trust, its not just my heart that gets broken is it?

Anyway, going to try and trust DP, already am trying and have done since being engaged. However, wish I could have that secure feeling that I did when I was a smug married woman whose husband would never cheat.

If he does cheat, thats it, no more relationships ever, it hurts too much.

Sorry ready think we crossed posts I did realise my cock up error.

I truly believe we have got to accept that some men are decent and would never do that per se and especially not to someone whom they know has been hurt so badly by it before - no way - not my DH - I know for certain he's a decent honourable chap and well known and thought of by everyone who knows him it seems (and trust me I vetted him thoroughly } - and as long as I hold onto that thought I'm fine. I'm sure you were the same with your DF and 'vetted' him as much as its possible to and also by your instincts. We cant do anymore so we have to accept at some point we are with a good person whose just not got it in their nature - as we havent - to treat someone so badly.