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Original poster

Loosing your virginity.

19 replies

TotorosOcarina · 27/10/2010 12:59

I was thinking about this rectly, how so much emphisis isput on this life changing event and how peoples experiences differ s greatly.

I was very lucky in that the person I lost mine to was the person I was to share my life with, I don't think I would have had the confidence otherwise, I have always been very comftable around him.

It worries me as my sister is almost 17 and is always going on about this, she is absolutly gorgeous and has not really had a boyfriend, I think they must feel intimidated as she is truely stunning! She at college now and I think even though she has always said she wants to wait till she really likes someone she feels under pressuer :(

Our cousin is a year younger and slept with at least 6 lads, and whereas my sister is a bit Hmm about that, I think she feels like she is missing out.

I know tehre has always been this pressure about sex and the 'first time' but only recently have I realised how lucky I was to have the experience I did!

Do you feel the way you lost your virginity has had any affect on your life or was it just a case of it being 'over and one with'?

OP posts:
TrillianSlasher · 27/10/2010 13:01

I don't think the time/nature of my losing my virginity had any lasting impact on me, no.

Why is it called 'losing' anyway - it's not as if you put it down and can't remember where you left it.

BitOfFunderthepatio · 27/10/2010 13:02

Ah, but this is "loosing", Trillian- it is being set free into the wild [hwink]

CheeseandGherkins · 27/10/2010 13:05

Didn't have any long lasting impact on me either.

Thingumy · 27/10/2010 13:07

Didn't have any effect on my life.

Sex was crap and continued to be crap until I matured sexually.

primrose22 · 27/10/2010 13:07

I 'lost' mine to the worst of my 5 boyfriends. Didn't bother me at all, I was 17, a late starter compared to my friends but as I had to wait many years for boobs, I didn't really get any offers!
I seem to remember just feeling relieved! A friend who lost hers at 14 really regrets being so young, I on the other hand regret that I didn't wait for any of the 4 much lovelier, attractive men that came along after! Oh well Smile

TrillianSlasher · 27/10/2010 13:19

Shit BoF, I used 'losing' repeatedly as a subtle 'this is how you spell losing' lesson and now you're saying we are actually talking about something else entirely?! Shock

Bast · 27/10/2010 13:26

Technically, I didn't 'loose' mine through sex. My hymen was intact until childbirth Grin

I lost my virginity at 16. Still FB friends with the man. No regrets.

Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 27/10/2010 14:19

Hmm so why do you think the event is so hyped up?

OP posts:
MrsFlittersnoop · 27/10/2010 14:32

You can only "lose" something if it is perceived as having a "value".

Many cultures prize virginity as something which demonstrates a woman's worth. In cultures where a woman does not have ownership of her body because it belongs to her husband or father, virginity is something which is "taken by" or "given to" a man.

In an ideal world, first sexual experience should be consensual, pleasurable and safe, with someone you can trust not to become physically or emotionally abusive during or after the act. This can be difficult to arrange or predict within a casual relationship. A bad first experience can be psychologically damaging and set up patterns of negative behaviour which are hard to alter.

sozzledchops · 27/10/2010 18:55

had never really had a proper boyfriend and didn't want to lose it casually. Had a few guys I would like to have had sex with but always hung back for something special and meaningful but did very heavy petting anyway. Eventually lost it at 21 to another virgin (though both didn't know at the time) when drunk and on holiday and didn't even really fancy him, it just kind of happened. Meant nothing other than feeling a bit silly and wished I had lost it earlier to one of the other guys I had really fancied and wanted. Just really wanted rid of it in the end.

TacticalNameChange · 27/10/2010 18:57

I rushed into it at a young age because I didn't want to be left out. It seemed everyone was doing it, but afterwards everyone I tried to talk to about it hadn't done it; it was all talk.

At the time I was a bit annoyed at myself but looking back, I really don't think it affected me negatively.

I think there is a lot of pressure and expectation surrounding the first time. I suppose the only thing that can be done about it is to make sure your teenagers are confident and comfortable enough with themselves to do things in their own time. Easier said than done though!!!

Original poster
TotorosOcarina · 27/10/2010 19:29

Thats quite sad sozzled!

Its a hard balance to get isn't it?

It was such a flippant topic at high school, my friend just asked me in an IT lesson, 'so have you shagged xxx yet?'

I was really taken aback and embarressed answering.

I'm still like that though, in all honesty I'm really up for anything in bed with DH but I blush at the slightest mention of anything sexual in front of anyone else.

I imagine people would be pretty shocked if they knew how I really am!

OP posts:
sozzledchops · 27/10/2010 19:38

it wasn't that bad TO, don't lose any sleep over me! Grin. Just surprised me how little it actually meant after trying so long to 'save' it for someone special.

ScMacBt · 27/10/2010 19:49

First time was crap with a boy i had been seeng and felt pressured into by friends etc, but the best thing ever came out of it Grin my lovely ds!

Needless to say after that i didnt have sex for a very long time. Think ds was 1 when i first did it again and it was with someone i trusted cared about and went on to have an amazing relationship with.

although most of the friends i had at the time of my first had been sexually active for quite a while Blush i was last to lose it by a longshot.

taintedpaint · 27/10/2010 20:00

I have good and bad memories of my first time. Does it still have an impact? Hmmm. Yes in a way, because the person it was with is still in my life. But I wouldn't say it was a bad impact, just an impact. Sorry, that's probably not making much sense!

RichardArmitagesSpeedos · 27/10/2010 20:00

I felt peer pressure to lose my virginity at about 13/14. So I lied to my mates and said I had done "it" with someone on holiday. I hadn't but no-one hassled me after that. I eventually lost it at 18 but it was a bit of a non event really!

Champersonice · 27/10/2010 20:01

Similar to primrose22 - I was also 17 and just wanted to get it over and done with seeing as most of my friends had lost it 2 and 3 years previous. I felt I was missing out! Wish I had waited for someone 'special' but not going to lose sleep over it.

brimfull · 27/10/2010 20:01

I have never let mine loose.

MrsGhoulOfGhostbourne · 27/10/2010 20:10

Feel very lucky that it was with someone I really cared about - sadly he died young, but I'm glad we shared that together - compared with friends who shagged someone random at a freshers fair in the first week @ uni am glad we used our 'games' afternoons in the 6th form wisely [hgrin]

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