emotional abuse anyone experienced it?

[sincerity]

hi everyone, this is my first post...Have been with DH for 5 years (married for 1 year) and although it was never the perfect relationship...it has got far worse since I have been married. I have DS 4yrs old also.

He drinks excessively and urinates on furniture at times. Sometimes he just drinks a lot and doesnt do that. I have been back n forth back n forth many times. This is it it's the last straw and I have filed for legal seperation. as well as alcohol issues, he is emotionally abusive and uses put downs all time.

Has anyone experienced this kind of behaviour before?

The urination strikes to me as very animal behaviour, marking his terratory sort of thing.

I am in the process of seperating from an emotionally abusive twat he would put me down contstantly remove access to the internet and the safe

Despite the fact that he is a twat and I will be better off without him, it doesnt make it easier I still have been crying a lot and emotions swinging from rage to upset

It will get easier I hope, well done for taking steps to get away from him

Peeing on furniture is indicative of alcoholism. You will be much better off without him, sincerity. Be careful not to go back with him when you're feeling vulnerable.

bump

hi i too am currently dealing with this issue and has got much worse since the seperation. even though he had an affair and is still with her he constantly wants to know where i am and what im doing. try and have as little contct with him as possible cuase it wont just stop.

good luck

cool thanks..he hasnt accepted it yet and ive yet to tell him im moving out 2 weeks tomorrow so god help me...wish me luck xx

I wish you luck Sincerity,so much luck.
I am in a very emotionally abusive relationship but I don't have the strength to 'get out', I wish you all the happiness for the future x

thanks guys x

i told him im going in 2 weeks and he tried to say i couldnt cos im on mortgage but i told him call the police then...u cannot stop me.

sincerity, I wish you all the best. You are clearly a strong and sensible woman, clear headed and rational. I'm so glad you're getting out now, before he erodes your confidence.

Rotool, I am so sorry for you. Start a thread here, it might help you.

sincerity, well done, you are on the right track.

...and if he starts on you...you bloody call the police.

Just check out a few of the threads on here - you will have no doubt you're doing the right thing.

Will try to link to some of them in a minute - got something on the stove!

Sorry, forgot!!!!

here

and

here, too

thankyou I can relate to what a lot of the women are saying on there,good to know im not the only one xx

at the end of the day if mortgage people chase me then so be it..it cannot be worse than him can it?

Sincerity, congratulations on making plans to get out!

Have you talked your situation through with your solicitor regarding the mortage, or been to the Citizen's Advice Bureau? You really need to talk to the mortgage providor as well, to let them know what is happening and to find out where you stand legally and practically. It would be a tragic shame to land yourself in a financial mess unecessarily when you have more than enough stress to deal with.

yes i have with citizens advice and im due to see solicitor on monday. Returning to CAB to meet with a debt advisor on tuesday.

I will probably have to go bankrupt as have 15k of debt (that we both accumulated,although he is blaming me for all that!) in my name. Which is not great!

It is going to end up in a financial mess but hey ho if that is what needs to happen for me to get out then so be it. A small sacrifice to pay (6 years of being financially ruined vs a lifetime of hell)

I was in an emotionally abusive marriage for 8 years. I did not realise how bad it was until I left. My mother said it had been like watching me die. I had paid all the bills and mortgage for 8 years and came out of it with very little. Ex even asked me for maintenance.

However, life does get better. I have been married to my wonderful DH for 10 years now and life with my ex seems like a distant hazy memory.

Life does get better - you deserve better.

thanks ...how did you break free?

Do you have any children? how did they take it?