Lynzjam

[Lynzjam]

Ummmm feel bad posting this on here, but kind of just want to vent my feelings right now.

So me and my partner have a 6 week old baby. Partner has been good at looking after me - cooking my tea and doing stuff round the house etc but when it comes to the baby he doesn't try much IMO. I have to do it all and man it's difficult at times I know he works all day but I see to the baby during the nights too so it doesn't interfere with his sleep.

I know he can't feed her because I'm breastfeeding but I just wish I could have a break from the baby at times. Only time I do get a break is when my mum is around. Whens she cries it's like he doesn't know what to do. But to be fair it's mostly because she's hungry. I have to suggest to him things to try, but he just gets pissed off. I'm thinking it's probably just a guy thing?

I just feel a bit demented at times and wish I could pass the baby to him to do some of the other bits.

He's snoring next to me right now which makes me resent him a little. He says he's tired - tough titty - so am I. Atleast he gets to sleep the night through!

Am I being pathetic!?

Man, done it again. I did write a proper subject title. Dunno why it just has my name!

Men are notoriously crap at reading how you feel, specially when you are breast feeding...cos they have no idea what it feels like and how tiring it is.

Have you tried expressing milk in order for your DP to feed the babby?

Yeh I've been expressing into bags and freezing to build up a stock. Mum will be baby sitting tomorrow night! I find it hard finding the time to express. I'm sure it will get easier when the baby starts to feed a bit less frequently!

Och I think I should count myself lucky really. A lot of folk have it a lot worse! I reckon I'm doing a brilliant job (by myself!)

Dh was a bit like this to start with, and it seems fairly common (based on other MN posters)

Can you start by getting him to change a nappy? Show him what to do and then leave him to it and don't interfere. He may do things differently to you, but bite your tongue and let him get on with it. If he feels like you are critising him, he probably won't do it.

Bathtime is a good job for the fathers to take over. You don't need boobs and it's a good bonding time.

I think sometimes it is harder for the men to get involved. The mother has been carrying this baby for 9 months and then is so involved with breastfeeding and childcare, it can be hard for the dad to find his role. It gets easier as the baby gets older and is not so much eating and sleeping all the time. DH used to be very good at getting our DCs to sleep when they were little. He used to carry them around and expain the finer points of rugby regulations to them and zzzzzzzzzzz......

I always think expressing solely so Dad can feed is a bit of a false economy. It takes so long and can mess around with your supply. As Zachary said, can you delegate bathtime to him? XP used to literally bath with DS and it was really special for them (and helpful for me!)