Anyone else deal with hot & cold people?

[mslady]

I aM unsure what to do anymore, I've been dealing with SIL for almost 10 yrs now One day she hates me next she loves me. Been put through a lot because of her ( bff with DH ex, after she told me what a horrible person she is and how she would try to get with hubbu) surprizingly friendship sustained throughout duration of our marraige. But wonders why I don't care for her "friend" after realizing rest of family will not understand my point I took higher road to forgive her and friend only to find out she badmouthed me to friend. Somedays she's sweet as could be others she walks past me as if I am nothing. I know I should not focus on this and rather the people whom love me consistantly, but it hurts. You want a god realtipnship with you SIL. I am coming here beaause I have no one else to talk about it with. I wish she would either pick one you like me or you don't. I've tried talking with her & Im not sure they understand validating others feelings. I've given her things that reminded me of her when I've seen it, bent over backwards & just don't understand why she dislikes me. Sorry for the ramble.

And she lives next door so complete avoidance is not an option.

Sorry for all of the typos, I'm on cell phone

its extremely demoralising dealing with people like this. I don't have a solution really, but i know it's like living on your wits when you pass them or meet them.

I had a friendship like this, which i slowly got out of.
Her living in next doot and being your sil is crap.

For your sanity, i would just stop trying to please her. Try to focus on your own feelings. Has something happened today to make you want to write it all down?

Hugs love and convo last week. No hello and slammed bedroom door today like it annoyed her to see me.

I worked for the most horrible woman once. I was describing the way she behaved to someone once and she said "I know the sort, either up your arse, or down your throat".

Sounds like she is one of those, too/

My SIL is like this. She can be nice one day but really unpleasant the next. I have spent years trying to have a friendship with her but I have now given up and intend to avoid her as much as possible.

Rather difficult if living next door but I agree only thing to do is to give up trying to please her.

I'd move house. She'll never change.

Movings not an option, talked to my mum a little while ago and she said quit trying too. Guess that's my answer, thanks ladies.

This type of behaviour that you describe is a type of bulling- essentially you are being controlled by her (nasty/nice) behaviour.

Personally ( have been in your situation sadly) I would back off ,accept that you will never have an "honest" relationship ( due to her behaviour) and keep her at arms length. Dont confide in her /let her know too much about what is happening in your life and keep things polite but distant.
Its horrible but you need to put yourself and your emotional wellbeing first

Why do you need a good relationship with your SIL?
Life's too short to fuss over unpleasant people.
If my sister married a bloke who was a prat I'd feel no compulsion to like the guy. What is this weird desire for "sisterhood" some women have?
You don't understand or like her, she sounds like she's not fussed about you.
Let it go and don't concern yourself with her or have expectations of her.