Have another baby or not?

[RuggerHugger]

Hi,

I'm new so go easy on me.

Ok bit of background.

I'm almost 40, DH is 41, we have a DD(6) & a DS(2). The last while I keep thinking another child would just be lovely.

BUT and there are quite a few BUTs.

At the beginning of this year, I had a near nervous breakdown due to a very stressful job. I left my job and have been at home with my children since then. I feel much better, still on Meds & in counselling but feeling better and stronger.

I don't see myself ever going back to what I was doing, very stressful but well paid career and this obviously has had an impact on our family finances. My job was much better paid than DH's current job & we have been supplementing our income with our savings.DH is fine with this( I was freaking out about it for a long time) as he thinks it is precisely these times that savings should be used.

DH is about to embark on a new business venture which if successful will put us in a very good position financially but it is a risk.

On the one hand, I would love another child But the practical part of me sees that our financial position at the moment isn't great and DH will be working very hard with the new business.

DH would prefer to wait at least a year and then decide as he thinks I need more time to recover and thinks the pressure of him setting up the new business & a new baby will be too much for me to cope with.

My worry is if we wait a year, I'll be hitting 41 and it will be too late. Oh, what to do!!

I think your Dh is right and why should it be too late in a year from now? there are lots of us that have had babies much later than that. I was almost 43 and I have a friend who was nearly 47. :)

What are your reasons for wanting another child?

Look at them, look at the impact it would have on you, your family and talk to DP. I agree that waiting another year isn't going to make that much of a difference.

Thanks for the replies.

Gosh, what are my reasons!!!

I've felt this desire to have another baby the last few months, I see bumps everywhere and find myself looking at newborns and wishing the baby was mine.

I have really enjoyed being at home with DS and have really gotten into the whole SAHM thing, a million miles from where I'd thought I'd ever be.

Possibly one reason is my feeling on having missed out on both DD & DS when they were babies. I went back to work very quickly after both births and certainly with DS I feel I missed out on so much. I felt forced to stop breast feeding as my work schedule didn't allow me fit it in.

I suppose I think I'm a bit old - no offence ladies - and not getting any younger and I worry about possible problems. While I had 2 relatively problem free pregnancies both babies were premature, can't seem to get beyond 33weeks.

DH while adamant that the time isn't right now, he is at least prepared to review it again.

Don't know why I feel the need to do it now,will have to have a think about that one. A new topic to discuss with my counsellor

This is such a personal thing that no one can advise. Discuss it with your counsellor and DP and whatever you decide, good luck.