FFS! Embarrassing or what...

[romanticdisaster]

OK, I have a friend, an ex colleague, who I kind of fancy and who I thought fancied me. Sounds all very teenage so far !!! Gets worse. Lots of hints he wanted something more- mainly music, songs etc that he told me to listen to, flirty messaging etc, trying to hold hands. WEll, I well and truly got teh wrong end of the stick. We arranged to meet this weekend, this morning. I texted last night to ask what time, never heard back, woke up this morning, no word, nothing whatsoever until 3pm when he texted and asked did I still want to go over. Er, no. Anyway, why did he not text, forget to meet me etc? because he had a date last night and spent all night shagging. While I was spending all night looking forward to seeing him this morning. BAH!!!!!!!!!
Just wanted to moan really.
So cross.

Why?

With myself, obviously! What a twat I am!

Well, I can understand why you are pissed off.

If someone arranged to see me and then just didn't turn up without any explanation, I'd be pissed off too. Because it's rude.

That'll learn ya.

Wonder about his mixed messages though - are you sure he just wants to be friends and the shagging all night thing was maybe a very lame and immature way to make you a teeny bit jealous?

OUCH.

I don't think you should be all that embarrassed. I'm guessing you're not totally thick or inexperienced. I bet he does feel attracted to you. But this woman cropped up and his penis made the decision. Maybe he feels you'll always be there and this one was a act now or lose out kind of opportunity..... hmmmmm, lucky escape? I guess I don't know enough to say that really, but I don't think that you deduced he was attracted to you when he wasn't. I don't think that most women do that. I think we know.

It sounds to me as though you've had a lucky escape if that's the way he conducts himself 'romantically'.

Bet he told you all about the shagging..am I right?

Janos YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, he wants to meet as he has 'so much to tell you x'

Fortunately, I have a sense of humour

How nice of him that he felt he had to let you know...

Definitely a lucky escape.

In fact he may as well have announced "I am a complete twat, get involved with me at your own peril mwa ha ha"

LOL what is it with these men???? Especially loved the 'x'

I had an ex boyfriend who did this sort of thing romantic. Flirty messages, hand holding, I can't bear to be away from you (seriously).

I found out he'd been shagging
someone else cos I got a text from the girl he'd been seeing behind my back...nice eh! I remember how hurtful it was at the time.

He was a passive aggressive idiot with issues aplenty.

I wish it didn't hurt, but it does- ouch is the word valium- pridewise anyway

Just feel like, well, I knew he was a wrongun, and not for me- but he seemed so ardent, and pushed all the right buttons, that he kind of convinced me into it.

And then shagged his bloody internet date instead of ME!!!!

I'm still cross!

Don't blame you for being cross, I would be too! Rude AND leading you up the garden path.

I was SO easy to lead

Oh blimey, it's natural to feel hurt but don't blame yourself romantic. He's the one who has behaved badly, not you.

I have to remember that... I really MUST NOT meet him for this coffee he thinks I should meet him for tomorrow... because it won't be insightful or good in any way, well it?

will it?!

Well, yeah he has been badly behaved, assuming he isn't trying to make you jealous! I had a non-relationship, going nowhere, when he announced to me that a colleague had found him irresistable and had taken him round the back for a blowjob. I told him we weren't dating and couldn't control who he saw or what he did. When I said that, he complained that he fancied me and was just trying to make me jealous! On the promise of no more stupid shennanigans we dated. We're now 12 years in with a beautiful DD. Why not meet and just see what happens?

I don't think you should beat yourself up here. Sounds like you were getting some very mixed messages and then he was rude and ungallant to boot.

How crass of him to tell you about shagging his date. Has he no class? Also, even if he was balls deep in some other girl, he still should have been in touch to let you know he couldn't meet you or to arrange a different time.

He sounds like a selfish and rude arse and you have probably had a lucky escape.

Don't blame yourself- it sounds like he has been playing you and I think he knows exactly how you feel about him.
Personally I'd put a bit of distance between you. Be busy when he wants to meet up etc. See how he reacts to that.
Don't feel bad, you're only human and some of us will always have that one person who knows how to push our buttons..and then walk away..