deaing with a husband who wont let me move on

[kieranic]

Hi there i am new to this site and wonder of you all can help me. My story is as follows. I have been marrid for 15 years and thought that i had a good marriage. My husband and i had a tough year and recently he wanted to go fishing to sort out his head and i was happy for him to do this, it then became more frequent and w tarted to argue about it as he was away more than he was home. i decided to to go down to where he was t clear the air and called the number that he had called me the week before to arrange to meet him only to discover thwt it belonged to the woman he had been having an affair with for the last several months which he denied. we have tried to sort things out and he has been plying me and the other woman for about 2 months now. i dont really want him back but have suffered depression and tried to kill myself. he allows we to start to get on with my life and then does something to knock me righ back down again. he has broght her to spend time with his partents and that is really hurting. HELP

Do you know where he was when he took out these loans?

I will be easy to proof via the Ip address if the loan was not taken out via the internet on your address. I know it is not concrete evidence but it does help.

What he has done is identity fraud, check your household insurance/bank policy to see if you're covered for this

i will thanks i think he did some on the computer at home and some via his mobile which unfortunatly was under my name. totally screwed!!!!!

hi all really need help dh has just texted me to ask to remove one of the setees and the flat screen tv from the house for his new flat this weekend when he knows that i am going away with dc wh do i do???????

hi K.

I would respond, sorry I am away this weekend and the doors will all be double locked/bolted.

He is pushing you to see just how far he can push you iyswim.

You/he might say ah but he paid for them. Rubbish. Unless you are married under a special legal arrangement everything in the marital home is communal property.

can you advise what communal prpery means does this not mean that he is entitled t half of everything. he is sying i am being unreasonalble as the couch and tv are all he wants.

now getting really angry about the situation and am seriously thinking about talkng to someone about identity theft for all the loans hetook out n my name. really didnt want to tae things to a dirty level but fell that he is giving me no choice now. HELP

Getting angry is brilliant!

Talk to everyone you can, get all the advice you can.

Am not a lawyer so you do need proper legal advice. Yes, I believe (loosely) that you could split things half and half - of course amicably is always best. (Of course where there's children he will have to pay you maintenance)

But if you decide to give him sofa and tv, make him sign a receipt for it, so that when/if you get a divorce and split the proceeds, these things will be taken into account. You might be able to get some advice if you start a thread in the legals page....?

What's to stop him taking out more loans using your details?

thank you will try the legal pages and nothng i supoose what can i do

Hi all thought i would update you on whats been going on so here goes

dh got himself a new house (private rent) and less than a week later he is havinhg to move out as he has been advised that he wont get housing benefit. That really made my day i can tell first time i felt good in ages.

I have made contact with my eldest daughter after afalling out over a year ago and its going great which dh is not pleased about either get this i am being disloyal to him by doing this!!!!

also he came on Friday supossidly to dicuss ds access and future but really he came for a row about me seeing eldest daughter. I must be getting better cause i was able to give as good as i got and basically warned him that if he does not start helping me with the financial side of things that i was going to report him for the loans mentioned earlier.

As usual i was all about him and that he has no money and wanted me to promise that i would not go to the police but told him i could not do that so now he knows that he can no longer push me around.

my hope is he is going to move to dumfries with ow and leave me in peace.

also i want to thank Katie Scarlett who has really helped me when i was drained after he left by giving me a specially prepared cd to listen to. it is titled fodyb (fuck off and die you bastard) and let me tell you it works and is full of uplifting songs about survival. Any one who wants the play list let me know i gaurentee you will feel better after listneing to it and see that you can recover.

does he work? if he doesn't I'd report him, if he does its the age old adage; you don't take away a carpenters tools if he owes you money because then you'll never get paid.
I think you will have to be as tough and devious with him as he is with you as that is the language he understands.

You're welcome.