bullied by my ex and his girlfriend

[butmom218]

I have been separated from my ex husband for 2 years, we have an 11 year old son and we have joint custody. I paid for a separation agreement and over the 2 years my ex has taken away or decreased the amount of money that was going to my son that was laid out in the agreement. He has claimed the child tax credit causing my son to lose money from the government as my ex makes more money and my son only gets my portion of the credit 6 months of the year now, he has done the same to the GST credit and has taken 50% of the RESP that he has not contributed to (no proof). Recently he used his RSP that he had when married to me to by a house, this increased his income, but when I challenged to increase the child support, he came back with a lower child support amount than he's paying now because the RSP money is considered off limits due to it being a previous RSP from our marriage. Now he is taking me to court to lower the child support to below poverty. On top of all of this, his girlfriend which he lives with thinks that she has legal rights of my son and she thinks she should be involved in decisions about him. She and I have had confrontations and she wont mind her own business. My ex is spineless and waits for her to get home so she can prepare threatening letters to me, usually threatening to take me to court for issues that could be resolved through communication. I am tired of being bullied and I want some advice on how to get back what my son deserves and how tell her she has no legal rights and to bud out.

Get yourself to the CAB as soon as you can. Speak to a solicitor. They can't do this.

Also womens aid are very good and they can reccomend you the solictors who know about these things.
So glad you are standing up for yourself and your ds

Was the separation agreement finalised in a court order? Did you go through csa for maintenance?

Hi,

Not sure I understand the finanical arrangements however the best approach is to go through the CSA. Have you looked at the online assessment? Please separate money and parenting - the courts view it completely separately. Don't let anger on finances cloud your decisons on other parenting maters..courts take a dim view of parents who do this.

Re dispute issues, What issues do you tend to have quarrels over?
I would suggest mediation if possible and maybe you need an agreement on how parenting works, however this has to be JOINTLY agreed. The difficulty for couples who separate is that they are most likely to be apart because they have different views on life but they must (for the sake of the child) agree how to parenting jointly.
Here's an example of a parenting agreement.

www.scotland.gov.uk/Publications/2006/04/19135817/4

Thanks for all the comments. My separation agreement was finalized in a court order and I have made arrangements to discuss this with a new lawyer (#3 now). Being from Canada I'm not familiar with CSA. I have documented all communication concerning my ex and I have my sons' school report cards and other documents for backup. I struggle with the fact that my ex and his girlfriend broadcast these disagreements publicly with their other friends and as I live in a small town, people have come up to me saying "I've heard you had issues with this.....", and I have not discuss this issue with that person. There are many other issues separate from the child support and the interfering girlfriend, my ex also would rather have the TV or computer entertain my son rather than spending quality time with him. My son has documented this in his school journals (4 movies in one day and the day after playing video games with a friend on the computer). His father has taught him to play poker and has taken him hunting, "but the adults put the beer away first", was a quote from my son. These behaviors trouble me as I worry my son is missing out on important life lesson with his father.