got past the phone call and have now got a date!!!!!!! help!!!!!

[littlenervous]

Hi again.

Ive finally spoken to him. He called monday, but i was in the bath. Then he called late last night, as i wasnt going to answer because it was late, but then text him back and said i was sorry i didnt pick up, but i had been asleep... and he called me back.
He did say sorry it was late though.

It went really well. He seems really nice and was really well spoken which surprised me a little.

ANyway. He asked me out, and we have planned something for next thur. But i waned to ask what you lot thought of two things he said.

1. • that he might look into booking a hotel room or something in case it turns into a late night ( he lives 40 mins away)

2. he did sau he could come here and help with some DIY i wanted doing.. though i presume hes joking about this? Because i wouldnt have someone here who i have never met.

But he did say he understood i have family committments, so he would fit around me, and than he was really looking forward to meeting me.

So - what do we think?

He sounds very keen, but perhaps a little over-keen. Tread carefully.

40 minutes isn't that far away, but if he wants to drink then he can't drive home. Agree pleasantly about the hotel room, but don't give him any indication that you'll be joining him in it (unless by the end of the night you want to of course).

If you get along you could also suggest you could do something together the next day as well.

I'd go with a polite "Maybe another time" on the DIY - but men do so love to be helpful - at first anyway. He's probably just trying to make a good impression on you.

Congrats on the date - keep us informed :o))

Agree with TM, seems a little too keen for a first time date. My date last week lives 1.5 hours away, he didn't drink although we met at a pub. Am also a little that he phoned you BACK after you had text him you were asleep. Just be a little careful, it is so easy to be swept away by someone giving you attention. You've got over the barrier of speaking on the phone so don't forget there are plenty more guys out there, this one doesn't have to be the one and only.

Take care and keep posting.

Sounds good, I wouldn't be joining him in a hotel room though, so don't drink!

The DIY!! Well if you get on well and progresses, get him to do it, cos you know wanting to do the DIY won't last

I will not be joining him in the hotel room at all.

Though i will drink, but i will have a babysitter to get back to and work the next day.

That also kind of rules out spending any time with him the next day either, though he is off work that week, which is why i think he said about booking a hotel toom.

Im not some desperate woman swept away by someones attention, i get more than my fair share and am actually really really picky.

I wont let him come and do DIY the first time ive met him, thats a bit silly and not very safe. However, if he is so keen after the first date he is more than welcome!

I dont think hes over keen. Im not getting that vibe from him, and i have lots of experience of over keen men and there is nothing that puts me off more. Ive cancelled dates because of it.

I would be a bit peed off with him for phoning so late TBH. Seems a bit rude, especially as you'd already told him you were asleep.

I was a little bit annoyed. It was gone 11.

But he explained why, and then i wasnt going to respond but text him to say i had been asleep, but was now awake, then he called.

He did say sorry. Monday he had called me at like 7. The friday he had called at about 4. he had called twice in the week in the early evening.

I hope it all goes well and it's just a one-off. But, I would be conscious of whether he's trying to push boundaries when you meet him - phoning late despite the fact you've already texted him to say you were asleep, booking a hotel room instead of going home on a first date - is he going to try and pressure you into joining him? - offering to do DIY in your home when you haven't even met him.

Maybe all these things are innocent but you haven't even met him yet so it could appear that he is being a bit pushy.

The hotel room would be ringing alarm bells. Sounds like he's just after one thing.
A bit presumptuous on a first date imo.

Do you think? He just said in case it turned out to be a late night, and so he could drink as well.

He did ask if i wanted to meet him halfway, or if i wanted to do something in the daytime.

Then he said he would come to me as its easier. Later on in the conversation he said about maybe finding somewhere to stay in case it turned out to be a late one.

I didnt get any sleezy ' imm come visit you, get you drunk and make you stay in my hotel room with me' type vibe.

If he didn't want you to join him he wouldn't have mentioned the hotel room. It's none of your business where he stays unless you want it to be. Of course he's not going to give you any sleazy signals just yet - it would scare you off, although I'd say he's testing the waters by telling you he's thinking of a hotel room. And I don't like that he rang you after you texted to say you were asleep. And offered to do DIY?! He's not even met you yet....(I'm sure you're lovely but it's a bit too keen!!)

Sorry I don't like the sound of this one very much. Be guarded.

he sent me an email earlier, saying sorry for the late night phone call again, and he hopes i wasnt too tried because of it.

If i get a sleezy vibe off him, or feel thats the direction he is beading... or get another late night phone call. then ill just cancel.

no harm done

Oh crikey- I used to see a bloke who lived 75 miles away and would drive both ways to see me for a drink ( just one!)
40 miles requires a hotel room? How long is the journey? 40 mins?
errr...no.

Can't he have one alcoholic drink then soft drinks, then drive home?

Sounds to me like he is hoping......

It's a bit odd how he keeps late hours weeknights- phoning you at 11pm- but then needs his kip when he is out on a date!

As a rule, I'd say you decide what time you want to leave and on a first "blind date" expect it from anything froma polite 30 mintes if you hate each other, to a couple of hours. I think it's better to keep them wanting more than stay out to pumpkin time!

Isn't it odd how we all see such different things. I actually thought he was being very chivalrous telling you about the room. If I were you, I would already be fretting about him not having a drink and me getting merry, and so perhaps has he. He wont want you worrying that he will need to crash at yours, so he is solving that by telling you about the hotel. He is saying, I would like a nice evening, with wine, and to do that, I will forward plan and book a room.

No?

yep. I did not text to say i was asleep.
I text to say i didnt pick up his call because i was alseep, and that he did wake me up, and then asked how he was. SO def inviting his call.

Im not going to shag him on the first date. or its very unlikely. tbh meeting in a pub and having one drink is rubbish, so its nice hes planning to stay.

He did ask if i wanted to do something in the day time, like coffee or something, but i cant. Then it just sort of turned into having a few drinks.

I will update next week.

My dh called me late sometimes when we were dating. He is spontaneous .

Tbh i dont see it rude like others because you texted him. If i texted and he didnt call back then i would get annoyed but maybe just me.
Just to lift your spirit, my dh turned out ok, 10 yrs now

Good luck