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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What would you think? (sorry LONG)

16 replies

sarahinphuket · 13/09/2005 07:24

OK this might end up being very long and convoluted, but I will try to avoid that!

My dh and I are not and have not been getting on well at all for several months. lots of arguments, etc etc. at the root of this (as far as I'm concerned) is that he drinks quite a lot and I think he puts that as a priority above me and dd (2.3). As far as he is concerned, he thinks I am trying to control him because I phone him to see where he is if he hasnt come home.....he cn't understand that i'm just trying to make sure he is OK

he has recently changed from an 8-5 job to one that is shifts, so some days he does 8-4, some days 4-midnight and some midnight-8. both of us have found it hard to adjust. i think that on days when he is working 4-12 he should be taking advantage of the extra time to spend with DD. in reality, he usually spends the day with his mates, quite often drinking.

because (he says) he works funny shifts and doesn't want to come home and wake me up in the early hours (I work 7.30-5 Mon-Fri) he has rented a room near where he works. This is odd point number 1.

As I said we have had lots of major fallings out, so much so that I kicked him out a few weeks ago and told him he had to sort himslef out. since then he came back and things were better for a while but then it all started again.

two weeks ago i came home to find him in a very weird mood. he said he had something to tell me.....then after several jokes about me being too fat (nice, huh) he said he had done something very bad (he had been drinking by the way).......so I thought he was going to tell me he was having an affair or had slept with a prostitute or something. but then he changeed it slightly and said he knew he was being really bad to me (he doesn't hit me). then I went out again briefly and when I am back he was crying and saying how much he loved me and that he didn't want to lose his family again (i'm his 2nd wife). I thought that this was because I had threatened him with divorce if thigns didn't get better. he continued drinking and went through different stages of being alternately angry and then hugely upset. then he drove off out to god knows where. next day he behaved as if nothing had happened. This is odd thing no. 2

things have been up and down since then, but with more good days than bad days.

then just an hour ago the secretary comes into my room to tell me that my cousin is with the security guards at the gate and wants to see me. i know for a fact that none of my cousins is here (we don't live in UK). so I asked her to find out the name of this person. I couldn't go to the gate at that point.......but would be free in ten mins. when i followed up with the secretary 10 mins later she called to the guards and said that the woman was in fact my dh's sister and her name was Benz. she was looking for dh but couldn't find him so wanted to see me. Now I have met all of dh's sisters and, apart from the fact that they live hundreds of miles away, none of them is called Benz! The secretary spoke to the guards again and they said that the woman had said that she knew me, but I might not know her name?!?! Then she left because they wouldnt let her in.

If I can (sorry) explain more, we live in Asia and my dh is not English.........the woman at the gate was the same nationality as him.

Now I'm wondering who the hell this woman is? She is not his sister. I can't help link it back to that day when dh told me he had done something very bad, then changed his story (oh and on that same day he said he had thought about going to a prostitute). Also in this country, the women can be slightly loopy, so now I'm really worried that it is some deranged mistress, coming to bump me off!!.

I know I have to confront dh and ask who she is, but I doubt he'll be home tonight cos we had another major row yesteday and even if he does come back, he will lie.

sorry this is so long, but thank you if you have read this far.

i dion't really know what Im asking you. I know my marriage is the pits and I do want him to go, most of the time. I guess I'm worried that this woman who was here today might turn up and tell me shes pregnant or something and that dh is the father!

what would you think?

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 13/09/2005 07:33

Message withdrawn

sarahinphuket · 13/09/2005 07:42

ggglimpopo
thanks for your reply
at the moment it is better when he is not here.....but then the nature of my job means that sometimes it is convenient for him to be here.

i'm not sure if i still love him - i thnink that so much has happened during the last 8 years and i've taken so much crap from him, so what was once a 'great love' has been gradually eroded away.

i know that i don't want to carry on like this for much longer. he did say one night when he was pissed that he wanted help and that he wanted us to move to a different country. the help bit i can understand, but the moving overseas bit is weird - we live in his country and he was never really keen on moving. this was on the same night he told me he had done something bad.

i have asked him point blank if he has slept with someone else and he is adamant that he hasn't. i dunno what to believe. part of me thinks that id be releieved if he had because then he could just go and i wouldn't need to feel guilty about sending dd's daddy away.

i do care about him but i dont think its enough. he makes me miserable more than he makes me happy.

so i guess thats my answer. its just taking that next step. if he's not around (and in reality at the moment he is not actually at home much) then i will have lots of issues with my work and various other things that i have on in my life.

OP posts:
SleepySuzy · 13/09/2005 07:44

I really feel for you. I have been in a situation before with a man who drinks a lot, and I found it hard to trust, but I didn't have children at the time (he did), so it was much easier for me.

I do think ggg is right, though.

Good luck in whatever you decide. xx

ggglimpopo · 13/09/2005 07:45

Message withdrawn

sarahinphuket · 13/09/2005 07:49

ggglimpopo
my dad is 5000 miles away, no brothers or sisters. my dad thnks everything is fine
but i do have friends here where i work. two of them know that things are ropey..and one inparticular knows all the gorey details. there are other friends too, one in the maldives and one in Oz who know. the one in Oz was going to fly over here a couple of weeks ago, bless her.

i know you are right. i do't want dd growing up thiking that this is normal.

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 13/09/2005 07:56

Message withdrawn

sarahinphuket · 13/09/2005 08:00

yes he knows he might lose me. i have made that perfectly clear.

its not as easy as me plannign an escape route though - i'm tied in that i live where i work (not going into more detail). have told him that i want him to move out, but the other day he said he was not moving anywhere. i think tht i could make him go though. at the moment he thinks i'm not serious - we have talked (yelled) about it so many times and the word divorce has been bandied around, but then i alwyas back down because in some ways is easier.

a plan would be easy in that i could always move and get a job in a different country - but that is easier said than done, and this time of year is not the right time to be looking. plus the fact that i've just started a new 2 year contract

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 13/09/2005 08:14

Message withdrawn

lou33 · 13/09/2005 14:45

I don't have much time because i am off for the school run, but if you see this later, i'll be on msn xx

sarahinphuket · 13/09/2005 14:51

hi lou33
am on msn now but am meant to be studying!!

he hasn't come home. he called earlier and when i said 'your girlfriend was here earlier' he said 'who?' not as in 'who' what on earth are you talking about you daft cow, but an uneasy silence followed by 'who'

anyway he reckons this woman 'benz' is a friend who is a doctor in the local area and that she came to see him with her husband. think i maybe believe him on that one, but i still have a niggling feeling that there is someone else somewhere, even though he strongly denies it all the time.

och well he's not home and he's working lates tonight so i've got a quiet night in to catch up on some long overdue study.

OP posts:
lou33 · 13/09/2005 16:28

sorry i had to go do the school run

i have just flashed you

Monstersmum · 13/09/2005 21:32

HI Sarah

Am assuming your DH is Thai? I used to live in Bangkok.

Culturally Thai men expect to sleep with other women. He knows as a non-Thai you won't accept that so he won't admit it to you. With alcohol involved you never know.

BUT - for your sake and your future health - you need to be sure he is not sleeping around. My opinion would be that you can't be sure. And you can't be sure he is having protected sex. I am sure you have already thought of all this but I just felt I should mention it.

You have said yourself that he makes you more miserable than happy - the answer is right there I think. BUT (again!) find out your legal position re your daughter if you do split.

Good luck.

sarahinphuket · 14/09/2005 01:56

Hi monstermum
yes I know that it is quite normal here for blokes to sleep around.......however he always swore he wouldn't because his first wife had an affair and he was devasated.

but. all that aside, even though i think that i believe him, i will never quite know, and yes there are too many dangers here.

OP posts:
chonky · 14/09/2005 06:35

Hi SIP, I'm really sad to hear that you're going through this at the moment.

I think GGG is right too, you do have lots of options available to you (even if they mean more upheaval to you and dd in the short term), and that means you can have a plan a, plan b, plan c, plan d.....

I think if your dh cannot commit to dealing with the drink problem and that your trust in him is disappearing you've got to think long and hard about where you are going with him. If he isn't going to change please don't stay so long that he chips away at your confidence and self-esteem, or worse. You're smart and gorgeous, you deserve much much more than that.

Sending you lots of love for sorting it out (I have tried to mail you but it's got delayed). I don't suppose you're planning to come and play over here anytime soon? xx

sarahinphuket · 14/09/2005 11:09

Hi chonky
awww your post nearly made me cry! I'm OK most of the time - have kind of built up a wall to block it out and stop myself getting hurt. As to whether or not he is having an affair I have no idea, but it's not really just about that.

have kind of got used to it being like this so i think its fairly normal............its only when i read about others or talk to friends that i realise it isn['t normal at all.

still, even though it is crap a lot of the time, i can deal with it at the moment while i make my plans. am going to save as much as i can and put feelers out about jobs in different countries, even though it might mean breaking contract here.

my email addresses have changed so i will mail you later on when dd is in bed

lots of love
xxxx

OP posts:
chonky · 14/09/2005 12:10

Yes, do send me a mail, I'm on my usual mail address. Same old, same old

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