I need to learn not to care what other people think and stop being so scared of everyone all the time

[phipps]

what's up phipps?

I am being over protective mum and didn't handle things well . Can't really say more, but I am so mad at myself for letting things stress me out. That is what I need to think about and not what has set me off this time.

Me too Phipps!

As Dr Phil might say, what are they going to do? They can't kill you, and if they do they can't eat you.

Sounds much more reassuring when he says it!

it was just one day out of your life and it is all raw.

Tomorrow will be better

A friend of mine used to say 'it really won't matter in five years time, but right now.....'

don't beat yourself up...believe that you did your best...

what do you think you need to do? You don't need to be perfect you know;

aww, phipps, can you not tell us about it ?

my favourite thing to say in this situation is "this too shall pass" or "tomorrow this will be chip-wrappers"

if you have one summat silly, let people talk

when they are talking about you, someone else is spared innit

and there will soon be summat else more interesting juicy to gossip about, I'm sure

done summat

I don't want them to read this and see. I just feel I have lost myself at the moment.

My dc went out with someone, joined in when I thought they were watching and has hurt themselves. I said to dc they weren't supposed to do it and the adult apologised but I said it was fine. I felt bad I had said something, upset dc had been hurt but just so protective. They weren't to know, I don't tell all about dc's problems but now I am worried they will be at me.

Listen Phipps,

As a parent, I NEVER see another parent as OVERPROTECTIVE. I know what it feels like to worry, there is no feeling like that when you want to protect your child.

If you feel silly about what you did or said, remember this.

Those who mind don't matter...and those who matter won't mind.

I just feel like she is so small and my baby and I need to keep her safe.

This bit will sound so stupid but lately I have been worried that we are not getting on (repeating my mother/me big issues) so I kind of feel good that I feel so heart about her.

I am beyond help I think .

You do need to keep her safe, and part of that is letting her learn how to keep herself safe.

Sounds like you need to step out of your own comfort zone too, sometimes.

How old is she?

If I had known she was going to do it I would have reminded her to be careful. I didn't know and she has hurt herself though says she is fine now. :)

She is 7.

storm in a teacup ?

we all have 'em

I know I am over reacting and worrying too much. I hate that I do this.

I don't know your background (or even if you have posted any of it)

you sound very anxious...have you anyone to speak to in RL about it ?

it must be agonising for you

I have always been a worrier. I take responsibility for my children far too seriously I think. Scared to let go sometimes though I am a bit better, just find it hard. I have spoken to someone about it and she said it wasn't surprising I am like I am. I am not embarrassed I am protective but feel awkward (that should be our new emoticon) about seeing them again in case they were annoyed with me.

did you shout at them or something ?

or just show you were worried ?

No, I said to my dd she wasn't meant to do what she did. If she hadn't been hurt I would have felt a bit upset I wasn't told in advance but wouldn't have said anything. I just explained she had problems. He said he felt bad and I said it was fine, he wasn't to know but I still feel I might have pissed them off.

it sounds like you shouldn't worry any further tbh

who cares anyway if you pissed them off a little bit

now, if you'd have ranted like a fishwife and said "how dare you let my baby do that, what are you, some kind of moron !!!???" it might be a bit different [hsmile]

I would have been too scared to that and it isn't really my style.

We talked today about other stuff and said about how I know I am over protective of my children but are trying not to wrap them up so I got my point across, if she knew what I had said, without making a big deal of it.

Thankis SF

Don't every apologise for being 'over protective' Phipps - what ever level of protection you want to have for your LO's is your business and nobody else's - think someones' already kind of said that but just wanted to agree....

Don't be [hsad]

Thank you :).

Off to get the children now.

ok - you wrap them up warm now!! [hgrin]

This sounds like me, too.
Try the book "Parenting From the Inside Out" by Daniel Siegel (Amazon). It helped me operate from a new perspective rather than be affected by hamstrings from the past.

I try to chill, really, I do. But sometimes I just need to say something like when the 4 year old is pulling on my 2 yr old's feet when she is climbing a ladder....'Um, excuse me, but please..." The parent did step up and offer more correction, I apologized -for what? for speaking!!!(tons of issues myself)-she said it was ok.