We are done - how do I do it?

[decapitatedladybird]

We have 3 children, been together 9 years & it all feels so stale.
We don't talk, have a relationship - no blame can be given but it's all gone wrong.

We are past the point of talking & reconciling, I need advice on saying enough is enough - where do we go from here?

bump

anyone?

Hi

A horrible time for you

He has agreed to divorce ?

my first instinct is to say, its all about the money honey, get down to a solicitor asap

Ladybird I have to sleep :)

Hope someone can talk to you

Agree to divorce

Agree what you want for the children
Agree the property split
Agree maintenance

There are sites which will help you formulate the financial split

Wikivorce is very good.

Does your DP agree with you on the state of your marriage?

A good divorce solicitor will be able to advice you on where you stand financially, with assets and your children. If you don't want the cost of a solicitor immediately and are in two minds the citizens advice bureau can give you a free appointment with a solicitor, although it is pot luck what their specialty is, I used them once and found them very helpful.
I divorced a few years ago, no children and a bad relationship so probably different to your situation. But my solicitor (although very expensive) was brilliant and guided me through everything.
I hope everything goes well for you.

Thanks for the replies.

We have no assets to split, infact we are in lots of debt which is causing a lot of problems.

I don't know if I can be bothered to get a divorce straight away, DH agrees it's all gone wrong but we are very alike in the fact that we don't argue (or talk) which means a lot of what I am writing is just my feelings on the situation so will probably come across as selfish.

We are due to go away for the night next month, first time in 3 years. I'm thinking of telling him then as the children won't be in ear shot & hopefully we can get some sort of agreement sorted out.