self defence in domestic violense

[lollyshmollypop]

anyone tried to use self defence techniques in domestical violence situation against their partner? did it put them on their right spot, making them (partners) realise that it is not weaker human being they are dealing with, so they can treat them with whatever they like?

Er no.

I dont think it would have been any part of a solution that would have been acceptable.

I have to agree with follyfoot - I don't think this would ever be a good idea, in fact it sounds like a very dangerous thing to do. You can't 'win' with an abusive partner, they will just turn to a different form of abuse.

Are you okay, lolly? Do you need any support/advice about getting out of this situation?

No it could go hrribly wrong.
Of course you can defend yourself in law, but mmay be more dangerous in hte long run.

I don't think domestic violence has anything to do with them thinking "oooh, she's a bit tough, I'll give up now". It's more to do with, "I control you and will do anything it takes to continue to control you".

Very much doubt it will end well.

Yes and No, I didn't use any specific "techniques". My ex's favourite tactic was to shove me around using his chest, I know that sounds odd but he would tower over me and barge into me every couple of seconds, shoving me into walls, chairs, kitchen units etc, but he wasn't hitting me, oh no, he wasn't using his hands after all.

On about the 10th time of him doing it, something inside me snapped and I completely lost it and went for him, I didn't care what happened I just couldn't let him do that anymore, I was screaming that at him, I clawed his face and punched him into a corner then got away and threw everything within reach at him when he tried to come towards me, bread machine, chopping boards the lot, he looked pretty scared actually and then left for work rapidly, I knew I had scared him and I think he knew he had pushed me too far. He actually tried to ring me up and bollock me for scratching his face. I said to him "ever touch me again and one of us might not get out alive and don't assume it will be me". Two years later he did it again, I called the police and he has never lived here since.

I agree that it won't make them stop, in some cases it could make them up the ante to get you back under control.

my method of self defence against dom violence was to make a lot of noise.

had i tried to physically defend myself he would have worked harder to physically control and punish me.

instead i would shout loudly 'get off me', 'leave me alone', 'do not raise a hand to me again' etc etc. this was particularly effective as he would panic and leave, usually smashing my possessions on his way out. oh yes, he earned his criminal record fair and square, the cunt

also it's hard enough to get recognised as the victim of dv, and if you physically retaliate you run the risk of police treating the incident as a fight between a couple.

thank you all for feedback........will have to think about everythign being said, need to go out now, but will think and post tomorrow....i guess it also depends on the person you are in reationship with and why they are doing it.... maybe i m just kidding myself, see you guys tomorrow lol

Unless you were a black belt or something this would be extremely unwise and very dangerous, and anyway if someone commits a criminal act of violence on your person the only correct response is to get them arrested and leave the relationship there and then.

Lolly please do post more when you are ready. If you're really scared please call the police though, that's the best form of self defence, it doesn't matter if he's your husband, it does not give him the right to hit you, okay?

Sorry meant to add it doesn't matter WHY he is hurting you, if he is, it's wrong, there is help available. Hope to hear more from you soon :)

As msboogie says unless you are very sure that you can 'win' it will only make matters worse IMO.

The best way to deal with an abusive partner is to get rid of him. You get one go on the merrygoround of life, don't waste it.