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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Please help, using hotel internet

17 replies

bezoya · 16/10/2010 22:38

DH has gone off to ask the receptionist about watching match of the day (we are in spain, it is my 40th birthday treat).

DCs at home in the UK with my parents.

DH works abroad a lot, lately in Turkey. I have never had cause to suspect anything - he has always been very contactable, skyped every evening.

Lovely day out, came back to the hotel, shower and shag... except as we were rolling around on the bed enjoying the freedom and the new surroundings, I noticed DH has some spots on his penis. Some are red and raised and have stuff (pus?) in them, some look like flatter areas of pigmentation.

He seemed surprised when I pointed them out - there are about five or six - he let me poke at one and white fluid came out.

Should I be worried? Okay I am worried. Is this unfair of me?

OP posts:
needafootmassage · 16/10/2010 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ifonlyiknewthatthen · 16/10/2010 22:41

Is it itchy? Sore?

Not unfair at all! Has he ever had it before?

Hassled · 16/10/2010 22:41

I think you'd be inhuman not to be worried - I'd be worried. But his reaction bodes well - he wouldn't have let you poke at them if he'd been up to no good - the guilt would have made him respond very differently, I think (unless he's a pretty good actor).

He needs to see his GP as soon as you're back. If that's too embarrassing, the GUM clinic - you don't even have to give your real name there.

Original poster
bezoya · 16/10/2010 22:43

Should add that we have known each other 21 years - when we first knew each other he had a history of cheating on girlfriends but has never given me cause to doubt him re faithfulness. as far as I know we have been monogamous for past 17 years (since we decided to be exclusive/serious/get married), so am at a loss to explain spots on penis.

Trying not to let this spoil the trip. yes I did have sex with him(!) - didn't want to hurt his feelings.

OP posts:
atswimtwolengths · 16/10/2010 22:43

I'm really sorry - I think he's got some explaining to do.

I think it sounds exactly like an STD - when have you ever heard of weeping sores on a penis being caused by anything else.

What the hell is he doing having unprotected sex with you when he's got sores?

Original poster
bezoya · 16/10/2010 22:45

OK thanks so much for quick responses. Will have to vanish sharpish if he can't get to MOTD! So it might be nothing STD-related? Thank god. Will try not to jump to damaging conclusions. Perhaps him being away so much is affecting me in ways I am not aware of?

Perhaps I will ask if we can get hold of some condoms for rest of the trip - he will think I am being ridiculous though!

OP posts:
ninah · 16/10/2010 22:49

just to clarify, op, tell me your birthday treat is spain, not match of the day

clam · 16/10/2010 23:04

Could it be penile thrush?

Just13moreyearstogo · 16/10/2010 23:16

Whatever's caused them they could be infectious. I'd definitely insist on a condom and can't see why he'd think it ridiculous.

Original poster
bezoya · 16/10/2010 23:21

I'll suggest condoms. It is a bit of an issue as I am allergic to latex but we can try to make a game of finding avanti in Madrid! Maybe.

feel much better now, thankyou all. Though I clearly have issues with Dh being away so much?

OP posts:
WhenwillIfeelnormal · 16/10/2010 23:43

I think it would put your mind at rest if you attend a GUM clinic together when you return. If there's anything he's worried about showing up in the results, I suspect he will come clean with you before the appointment. Meanwhile, don't have any further unprotected sex and whatever happens, make sure you get yourself checked out, even if you develop no symptoms.

What a horrible shame that this has blighted your birthday treat.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 16/10/2010 23:54

It's perfectly possible that these marks are not related to an STI (though I agree, use condoms and both get checked asap). The penis can develop sebum "spots", not unlike a milk rash in babies.

emmyloulou · 17/10/2010 10:51

It sounds like penile thrush which is not necessarily sexually transmitted you'll be pleased to know.

Penile thrush causes these whithead type spots and the flat rash of which you speak. It can be the same anywhere on the body.

purplepeony · 17/10/2010 17:16

It could very well be thrush- my DH gets it now and then and I think ( sorry) he catches it from me as I can be a bit thrushy and not even know it.

He gets a slight pimply rash. he used over the counter canestan with hydrocortisone in it.

However, in your case, if i was suspcious I'd make him use a condom until checked out.

OnceUponA · 17/10/2010 19:19

doesn't sound like herpes to me- they're blisters like a cold sore, not pus-filled spots. Sounds like thrush, or lichen sclerosis?

ItsGhoulAgain · 18/10/2010 06:33

Well, thank you for introducing me to a whole new world of penile eruptions, OP Grin
I found this very informative article here. Looks unlikely to be an STD, or even catching. Shame it happened on your sexy break, though!

Have a few extra tapas for me Envy

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