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Original poster

Would this annoy you, or am I being over-sensitive

32 replies

palomadove · 16/10/2010 20:58

Dh has a really irritating habit of interrupting me to finish my sentence.

He knows I hate it, but keeps on doing it - I'm now sitting in a different room and he's watching a DVD on his own because he's done it again and thinks I'm over-reacting.

Am I? Or would it pee you off too?

The conversation was quite mundane - I started a sentence saying I'd bought a whole salmon on special offer, and what a good buy it had been.

"I'll look out for another one, but next time I'll go to Lakeland and buy..."

"A fish kettle" he jumped in. (Actually I'd been going to say I was planning to buy some non-stick leaves so the salmon steaks wouldn't stick together in the freezer).

It sounds really petty here, but I feel he really undermines by interrupting me like this, I've told him repeatedly I don't like it for that reason, but he keeps on doing it and can't understand why I'm getting more annoyed.
What do others think?

OP posts:
SpookyNoise · 16/10/2010 21:02

I understand where you are coming from. When I shout at DS, DH always joins in before I have finished. Men, huh?

arabella2 · 16/10/2010 21:04

my dh does this thing where I will start telling him an anecdote and he reacts (normally critically and quite vociferously) to the first part of what I have said - I then get annoyed with him over his reaction and the real thing I wanted to tell him (nothing to do with what he was criticising) often never gets said... I don't know if this is similar to your thing but I get very annoyed and also lose the will to really talk to dh... I think interrupting someone constantly IS undermining.

oldenoughtowearpurple · 16/10/2010 21:15

It is undermining. It's also a habit. You need to help him break the habit through negative associations. Every time he does it kick him in the nuts.

Original poster
palomadove · 16/10/2010 21:16

Exactly arabella, I don't think he deserves my company frankly if he doesn't understand how to conduct a conversation politely. But he doesn't see this, just thinks I'm over-reacting. This has gone on for years!

OP posts:
Original poster
palomadove · 16/10/2010 21:18

Grin Purple - I love it, great idea.

Is it like training a dog though where you have to make the association straight away, or could I interrupt his dvd-watching by going in and doing it now, half an hour later?

OP posts:
LostArt · 16/10/2010 21:24

I don't think you are over-reacting.
DH has a habit of repeating everything I have just said to the children. It's as if I have an echo. I might take oldenoughtowearpurple's advise and kick him in the nuts till he gets the message. Grin

berries · 16/10/2010 21:42

Dp says I have a habit of supplying the answer with the question & it really annoys him. Try not to do it but it's very much a habit so can see both points here

Original poster
palomadove · 16/10/2010 21:54

Understood berries, but your habit, while it might be annoying, isn't undermining your dp, is it?

That's the bit that annoys me - that I don't have a right to even finish a sentence.

OP posts:
GrendelsMum · 16/10/2010 22:09

In our relationship, we're the other way round, and DH does say he finds it very annoying. But from my point of view, I'm interrupting because a) that's how my family talks when we're together, and b) I see it as showing interest - more interest than waiting for him to finish and then saying 'oh, really?' It means it's a hard habit to break, as from my point of view, I'm trying to learn to do something which I wouldn't like someone to do for me. However, I appreciate my DH doesn't think in the same way, so I'm happy to change for him

Bue · 16/10/2010 22:12

I'm afraid I do this to DH and he hates it. We have had words about it many times and I am trying to stop! I assume that we are just having friendly conversation and back and forth banter, and I find it hard to see why he reacts so badly. You posting this has actually made me realize that he's not crazy, a lot of people hate this! Grin

Explain to him that it makes you feel undermined. He [and I] should eventually get the picture!

Bue · 16/10/2010 22:15

GrendelsMum - I think that's where I get it from too. In my family we all talk over each other. I find it odd to have a conversation where one person must finish their entire point before the other person can jump in. To me that's not a conversation, it's a series of monologues.

claireb1974 · 16/10/2010 22:16

it is really anoying! I have a friend who always says the last word of every sentance I am saying, that also is very irritating

Original poster
palomadove · 16/10/2010 22:22

Grendelsmum - you've just said exactly what he just said to me.

But he's not happy to change, unlike you!

OP posts:
Original poster
palomadove · 16/10/2010 22:24

And the point I've just made to him is that it feels as though I can't have my own thoughts - he has to second-guess and jump in with what he (arrogantly) presumes is in my head.

OP posts:
ForMashGetSmash · 16/10/2010 22:30

I am sorry...I do this to DP. It's because he talks sooooo sloowwwlllyyy.....that I know what he's going to say.

Ragwort · 16/10/2010 22:35

Don't talk to him Grin.

Going off subject but at least it shows he is listening and engaging in some form of communication with you, unlike my DH most of the time. I must be incredibly dull as I usually get no reply or just a bored look !

GeekyGirl · 16/10/2010 22:36

It's annoying. I had a friend who did this and it used to make me feel as if I wasn't speaking quickly enough. Nobody else does it to me, so I think it's my friend who has the problem - she's impatient and a bit rude.

templemaiden · 16/10/2010 22:40

It would annoy the f*ck out of me - I find it very rude.

ninah · 16/10/2010 22:53

do you often have less mundane conversations?what is he like then?

whenallelsefailsmaketea · 16/10/2010 23:02

It gets worse the longer you are together. After 28 years I found DH would finish my sentences before I had said them and then think of something else which I could mindread and get upset about before he said it!! He is now an Ex DH...

Triggles · 16/10/2010 23:49

DH often repeats what I've just said to the children "DS2 put that down." DH just has to say "DS2 stop that." or something. I asked him once why he did it, and he said some odd thing about being supportive. It didn't really go over well when I muttered it was more irritating than supportive. Grin We're still working on it... Hmm

UnquietDad · 16/10/2010 23:59

I can see it would be very

"Annoying, yes,"

I had a neighbour who used to do this all the t-

"Time, yes."

She would always finish my s-

"Sentences"

I think it was just to show that she was l-

"Listening"

MissTFied · 17/10/2010 00:11

At least he's showing an interest. I'd rather that than talking and receiving no response whatsoever.
When I pick him up on it he might say 'You didn't ask a question. You made a statement'. Or some other such bollocks.

echt · 17/10/2010 04:13

My DH does this, and you know what, he's never right about what I was about to say.

So I say: No, that's not what I was going to say, and stop finishing my fucking sentences for me."

He's not done it for ages. : o

echt · 17/10/2010 04:14

I meant to finish that sentence with :o

But I expect you predicted that.