If you love your partner, why the hell wouldn't you say it?

[atswimtwolengths]

Just that really. I've been really surprised by some of the posts on here, by women who say they never tell their partners they love them, although they do seem to love them.

And then on the other hand, how could you marry someone/live with someone who hasn't said he loves you?

I totally agree! We tell each other we love each other quite regularly, but not every day or we both worry it will lose it's meaning iyswim. Sometimes we actually sit and try to explain how much we love each other and it gets quite competitive (I know, get the bucket out!). We've been through some really hard times and even when we've almost split, I've told him how much I loved him and that sometimes I wish I didn't as it wouldn't hurt so much!

Because there are as many dynamics in relationships as there are relationships. Some people don't express themselves that way and that's fine.

... why the hell wouldn't you say so, I mean!

Yes, I was exactly the same, Purple. It's so exciting when you first tell each other you're in love, god, can't imagine being happy missing out on that!

Even in the early days, BeGone? I thought that was a common part of any early relationship.

well, when i was with EXp we used to tell each other all the time. and i really really loved him, so much, we used to try and explain how much aswell. anyway, it got to the point where it was jsut a reflex thing to say it, like walking past him in teh hall. it did lose all meaning. we were saying it every fart's end and then when we did have those difficult conversations and one of us would say "but i love you" the other would say "no, you're just so used to saying it that you think you do." which wasn't true, we did love each other but the fact that we said it all the time meant that it didn't count when it mattered.

I guess I should explain that my xh never used to say it, but then, looking back, I don't think he ever did. We never talked about our feelings, he didn't really know me to be honest! So, in comparison, what I said before is what works for me and dh now, and we've been married 8 years. I guess it's different strokes for different folks, whatever works for them in their relationship.

I just don't understand how a decision to marry or live together or have a child together can be made without a declaration of love.