Do men need to date to get over an ex?

[tryingtobeafriend]

Are men and women really different?
I have a friend ( male) known him for years...he is now just out of his 3rd marriage. His wife had a fling earlier this year and wanted a divorce, but they didn't live apart until a couple of months back. He is now dating again, but feels a bit unhappy with things.
Afraid I came over all judgy and said slow down..it's much too soon.
But I hear time after time from girlfriends that the men they date are often straight out of a relationship.
Is there a difference? Can men not stand being on their own?

maybe their confidence has taken a knock....need to jump back in to prove to themselves they are still the man they were

I think certain men do, yes. I think they crave affection and sex more than women in general at this time as women tend to find solace in talking about it to close friends.

Some men are of course good at talking things over with mates but I think the very general consensus is to get over one by getting under another.

It hurts when you see them do it, even if you ended it and do not want them back.

You could be right- he said he felt he ought to be moving on, emotionally, but I suppose my girlfriends would eat choc and drink wine, and go shopping- and keep away from men.

Two months is nothing, is it?

My thoughts are that some men are scared of being alone. This leads to two things

1. Dating straight away
2. Having affairs and leaving for OW - how many men leave their wives for nobody rather than someone else?

I have found that when it's the man that's hurt, he is more likely to fall straight into the arms of a 'safe' woman that he feels he can trust and who worships him. Certainly an ego boost for them at a time when they may be feeling pathetic and emasculated.

Women seem to be much more sensible in this area and yet it's women who are often viewed as the needier of the two sexes.

Whenever I've broken up with someone or couples I know have broken up, the guy has ALWAYS got a new girlfriend first.

I honestly think they just hate being on their own and I don't think they're as choosy as women are either.

A really good male friend of mine broke up with his long term girlfriend of 10 years and within a year he was in a relationship with someone else, which was too soon imo considering how heartbroken he'd been about his split.

Anyway, in a drunken 2am confession moment, he told me that he doesn't really love new girl in the way that he loved ex girl and ex girl was the love of his life, etc. I said that I thought he got involved with new girl too quickly and just settled with the first one that came along iyswim, he agreed but didn't do anything about it.

Well... not strictly true. He did do something about it, he proposed to her .

They're getting married next year. I feel bad for new girl because she's very nice and obviously besotted with him.

I hope it turns out ok.

This all makkes me feel a bit better as he was very defensive and I was made to feel a bit "hey, what's it got to do with you?" But after 3 marriages and 2 broken engagements ( and the rest) I think he needs to slow down and see the pattern....ie women like him, he is needy, and jumps in too fast.