He's really getting me down, feel like I'm starting to hate him.

[Fructus8]

Last night, after dinner DP put a James Bond film on. I HATE James Bond and he knows it. I find it depressingly dull but he never even asked if I minded (like I always do if I put on a film), he just put it on.

So I decided to go and have a long soak in the bath. He whinged that I was "abandoning" him. An hour later, I come out, that shite is still on the TV so I go upstairs to sort some photos out. Come down half hour later, its still on so I start reading a book. This obviously pissed him off but I pretended not to notice.

So later on we're sat watching something we both wanted to watch and he suddenly starts going on about how the bins hadn't been put out for two weeks. I said "I know, but it's not just my fault, you forgot too" so he replies "yeah but why should I have to do EVERYTHING??" he then launches into a tirade of how I do fuck all, I'm lazy and selfish, he has to do everything, I live here too and should pull my weight etc etc.

Now, he works full time, starts early, finishes at 3pm. Comes home and puts dinner on. THIS IS HIS CHOICE. If I make dinner he stands over me picking fault, half the time even refuses to eat it so fuck him, if I'm so shit, he can do it. Thats his choice. Now I would normally wash up but I don't neccessarily do it IMMEDIATELY after dinner. But if I don't do it when HE wants me to, he automatically takes over, huffs and puffs and does it himself = or he makes a big show of leaving it as if he's teaching me a lesson.

Now last night his words were "I come home from an 8 hour shift, I have to make dinner, I have to wash up, nothing has ever been done, the bathroom hasn't been cleaned for ages and the kitchen cupboard doors havn't been wiped down for god knows how long."

HIS CHOICE to make dinner.
HIS CHOICE to force the washing up issue at a specific time in the evening.
The bathroom is only a tip because HE leaves razors, cream, tiny hairs, big hairs etc everywhere.
The livingroom is a mess because he takes the clothes out of the dryer and just chucks them all over the sofa for me to tidy up. His dirty socks, jeans and t-shirts are just chucked on the sofa after his shower and left there for days.

Yet its MY fault the house is a shit hole because HE works. I'm at ft college 3 days a week, have tons of assignments to get through on the days I'm not there, am already falling behind and I work Sundays. So its not as if I'm just sat around watching TV all day.

So is he right then or do I have reason to want to punch him right now??

but you're otherwise happily married??

Frutus

You've posted about him already this week and you never reply to subsequent posts (although I presume you read the replies).

What do you therefore want?.

I can't be arsed to reply then

Thanks for the heads-up Attilla.

< goes off to find somebody who might just listen >

do you have dc??

come on,dont give up on op just yet ladies!!

I think you're being a bit unreasonable to be quite honest. I've done college 3 days per week, with a 24 hour working week and a baby to look after. Now thankfully it's just work. No partner, fucked the useless bint off when DD was 2 weeks old.

It was tough, but things got done. I never had that many assignments that dishes couldn't be done, the bathroom couldn't have a quick wipe down, and clothes couldn't be put away. It's all about priorities.

He shouldn't nag however, he isn't your father. Nor is he a teenage and so shouldn't be leaving his shit on the floor.

I'm of the mind that if you share a house, you share a mess. I can't be arsed with all this "But it's not even my mess, why should I clean it?!", it's your house too, why wouldn't you want a tidy house? I'd like to think that if someone I lived with saw a mess, they'd clean it, and vice versa for me.

Sorry. You're cross with him because he works? is that right?

it does sound a little like six of one and half a dozen of another here

In view of Attila's comment I shan't waste much breath, just one thing to say.

Why on EARTH would you live with someone who you loathe and resent that much?

I don't get the whole 'it's his mess so I won't clean up' thing. The bathroom is dirty, so clean it. I'm not saying that it should be you all the time or that you should constantly pick up after him. Yes he should make more of an effort to tidy up behind himself, but he makes supper for two - and yes I got that it was HIS CHOICE, and yes you are at college 3 days a week, but some of us are at work and juggling kids and doing all the housework and cleaning, so why don't you both stop worrying about who did what last, and try to do a bit a day each. 2 week old bins must stink!