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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

my stupid fwit ex

27 replies

kittya · 15/10/2010 01:22

Is coming to my town next month, with his long term bit on the side. Im not bothered but my friends reckon we should go for a night out where he will be smoozing.

Ive told them it will end in tears. I dont think they want a laugh but want him to see me looking great with my friends.

It will end in tears wont it?

she's not even his wife.

I shouldnt go, maybe send them!!

OP posts:
FiaGrace · 15/10/2010 01:29

I understand your friends thinking on this but it will end in tears. I wouldn't even bother giving him a moment of your time.

Go and have a fab night out somewhere else and celebrate the fact that he is your 'ex'.

Smile
Original poster
kittya · 15/10/2010 01:31

Oh, Im over it. I think they think they are doing me a favour and months ago I probably wouldve gone along with it. Now, we will just be interupting him and his mistresses Christmas night out and I know it will end in tears. And they wont be his!!

OP posts:
ScaryFucker · 15/10/2010 07:23

for gods sake no, what is the point ?

you will be painted as the jealous ex who can't stay away from him

HollyGoHeavily · 15/10/2010 07:46

Nooo - don't go. You won't enjoy yourself and there is serious room for drunken tears/arguments/moping which you will regret hideously when you sober up next morning.

Original poster
kittya · 15/10/2010 09:42

I know. I will just have to take my fab haircut elsewhere!! Bless them, they think they will be doing me a favour.

OP posts:
msboogieHallowqueen · 15/10/2010 10:50

there's no reason why you and your lovely hair shouldn't go out for the night! Just don't go where he will be or stay where he is if you find yourselves in the same place.

SolidButShamblingUndeadBrass · 15/10/2010 10:54

Are you friends all very young or something? Because this is playground stuff. By all means go out and have fun looking fabulous, but parading yourself past your XP looks desperate and loser-like.

SheWillBeLoved · 15/10/2010 11:50

How do you even know he is coming back with his gf and where they will be? Confused

Go out, but steer clear of them. Being laughed at for being the saddo ex with her mates who are all stood around whispering and giving the new gf evils is not a good look. Shocking that grown women (I'm assuming) would even think this was a smart move!

Original poster
kittya · 15/10/2010 12:55

He's a musician one of my friends saw the advert and said "oh, we should go for our Xmas night out" and then afew more decided they wanted to go. It wouldnt be the first time theyve been out with him as they knew him quite well. There wouldnt be any humiliation on my part, too much time has passed and, Im too old!! Yes, they are younger then me but not that much and they are very sensible at work!!

Dont worry guys, Im not going to go. We will go for dinner instead.

I hate thinking of ideas for Christmas.

OP posts:
proudnscary · 15/10/2010 13:05

totally agree - do not go! v bad advice from your (well meaning) friends!

Original poster
kittya · 15/10/2010 13:33

I know. My friends are so lovely as well. I guess they saw it as an opportunity that doesnt normally come around!!

OP posts:
ratspeaker · 15/10/2010 14:12

Oh please dont go

It's a nice thought, mostly female, that he'd see what he was missing but more often than not the male thought is "look she can't keep away from me" thus stroking his ego

Original poster
kittya · 15/10/2010 14:17

and god only knows what he's told his bit on the side about me!! when I first met him he told me she was his stalker (????) clearly, thats what he is going to say about me.

My poor friends said but, they like the music!!!

I told them to buy the cd.

OP posts:
ScaryFucker · 15/10/2010 14:37

who is he ? someone famous ?

perhaps a bunch of vicious bitches MN'ers could go and heckle < evil grin >

Original poster
kittya · 15/10/2010 15:46

I think that was what my friends were thinking. It wont be happening, dont worry.

OP posts:
Original poster
kittya · 15/10/2010 15:52

can you imagine getting carted off by a bouncer?Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
kittya · 15/10/2010 22:43

or my mates asking him to sign a cd? just for the fun of it.

Its certainly a no!!

OP posts:
LilMsUnfortunateAxeIncident · 15/10/2010 23:02

Don't give him the satisfaction, it'll make you like a right stalker

Original poster
kittya · 15/10/2010 23:40

It wont make me one but it will make me look like one!! Im not going to. It is more likely to be shameful then a laugh!

OP posts:
SolidButShamblingUndeadBrass · 16/10/2010 09:59

There is something about shagging musicians that makes lots of people revert to their inner 14-year-old though. The only way to do it is to not take them seriously, enjoy it for a bit of fun and, as a mate of mine once said, always remember you're never going to be as interesting as a conversation about guitar strings...

notruddylikely · 16/10/2010 10:01

Stay away!!! Obviously if you are out, you must look your most fabulous (just incase) but don't make a point of seeing him.

Original poster
kittya · 16/10/2010 22:25

or as interesting as their last and only hit!!!

Im not being a hermit, though.

OP posts:
SolidButShamblingUndeadBrass · 17/10/2010 09:12

I'm gagging to know who he was now in case i've had him too.

Original poster
kittya · 17/10/2010 22:08

well, it wouldnt surprise me!! he had his moment in the sun and still flogging it for all its worth.

I cant really go into it too much although I would love to but when you post on here you have to be prepared for the world to see it!! so they say.

altough you could give me some clues to your encounters!!!

OP posts:
SolidButShamblingUndeadBrass · 18/10/2010 10:06

London rock trash in the mid 90s mainly. I am not sure any of mine ever really had an actual hit though...