where do i start estranged pil, no effort made by sil's with our children and yet sil is moaning on fb about no one making the effort with her nb as if he is the only important one......

[allthreerolledintoone]

dh parents cut contact with us or at least said they were so they could basically emotional black mail us in to not doing something they disagreed with something rediculous.They hung up and never made contact since and dh left it that way thinking that was what they wanted. Months passed and sil's were telling us how hurt they were and they didn't mean it etc but we heard nothing from pil's thenselves. 5 years has now passed.During that time sil's kept contact but never really made the effort to see our dc, never remembered bd's, xmas etc not a text or phone call even.

Now sil1 who live a few hours away has since had a baby and has been making demands etc for people to visit her and make the effort.This did piss me off but i thought maybe now she's had children she will inderstand etc. So we made the 2hour journey which cost us a good £20 petrol (moneys tight) i brought a gift and card and we stayed for a couple hours and came home as they had things to do.We've rang when babys been ill and just to see how things were etc etc

Well time has since passed and most of her family are up here so she has visited them but not us and more of a reason to come up here i.e dh's mum and her dh mum . Although she did say she was going around pil's and for us to go around-that aint going to happen as our children do not know their gp's and we haven't spoken. Do i really want my children to see pil's doting over their new gc when they have ignored our children who live a 10 min drive away.

Ds's birthday was a few days ago and again not one text, call etc not even on fb and she had been on that day and not from dh's other twos sisters who have made no effort to go and see her either. Although dh got a text from mil saying pass on happy birthday-he doesnt know who they are!!! And dh just responded with a thanks which pissed me off as i would of said alot more.

Ive just logged on to fb and theres a slanging match about sil 2 saying i want to see my nephew3 but we can't afford to come down so could you please let us know when you are next up and you never tell us. Sil1 has then fired off about her at least making the effort to come down once to see them.And then fil (who isn't in contact on fb with me) chirps in saying she is his aunty and she just wants to see him when you are up etc
Now im fucked off because we live alot closer and sil2 doesn't make the effort with our dc. Sil1 who's taking the high ground doesn't make the effort but expects us too and fil going on about family but doesn't fucking see our children his other gc either.And i have to read this all and yet dh says nothing to them not even his mum who yeah did text but doesn't know a single thing about our children!! I want to say to them they all need therapy and take a good long lokk at themselves as they are so hypocritical!!!! And that there are other gc, nephews involved too.It hurts anyway but to see them arguing over sils preciuos nb make me so angry and sad. {sad]

sil's all have contact with pils by the way we where just out casted because mil hated that mum saw ds1 more then her which actually wasn't the case.It was a constant battle tbh about who had more time with him etc and then because she didnt get her own way about something she said she didnt want anything to do with us including ds who she constantly argued about wanting to see!!

Years ago when my/our DCs were small,DP and i made the decision not to keep in touch with DPs parents.......they had had ample oppotunity but always had to keep the 'upper hand',they were nasty and demanding at times and said mean things that upset us both......it all culminated in them 'forgetting' DS2s birthday 2 years running (at the time they only had our DCs as GC).... we haven't heard from or of them in 10 years and i don't really regret it at all.

In some ways im glad we are out of it but it's hurtful seeing them scrabbling over the new gc when they have another 2 who don't get mentioned.Especially when they go on about making an effort for family etc they make no effort what so ever even dh's sil's who we do have contact with. I hate people putting their dirty laundry on fb but i so what they say something my blood is boiling reading that.

Send your SILs messages that you are fed up with the arguing, that you welcome them to come and see you anytime, but that a public slanging match between them is something you are not prepared to put up with.

Tell them that you are defriending them until they sort themselves out and stop bickering in public and sort it out face to face.

When they are ready to act like women and not teenagers, to let you know and you will refriend them on FB.

Until then, they can email, text or phone you.