He speaks to me like crap

[Fructus8]

I don't know if its just me or what but I'm getting a bit fed up of the way DP speaks to me. He never says please or thank you for instance, like if I ask him if he wants a cup of tea he'll just say "yeah" and won't thank me when I make him one. He's currently saving money for a PS3, he bought a money bank thing especially and as a token of "niceness" I thought I'd give him a tenner to start it off. I wasn't expecting eternall thanks or anything but I did expect A thank you. So I said to him "here you are DH, a tenners contribution from me " so he took it off me without saying a word, put it straight into the bank and said "right, so I have £25 now, I'll put £15 in on Friday ... " etc. Never acknoledged the fact that I'd given him it.
On tuesday night he started ranting at me because ID forgotten to put the bins out - he had too of course but no, its worse that I forgot and doesn't matter that he did.
Tonight he remembered at 4.15pm that he had a doctor's apointment for 4.15. He immediately starts ranting and raving, shouting and swearing, blaming me for not reminding him - he's allowed to forget, I'm apparantly not.

So am I being sensitive then? under a lot of stress at the moment so am willing to acknowledge a slightly over-sensitive tendancy.

He sounds like a childish cock.

He sounds like a rude arsehole.

How old is he? It sounds like he is expecting you to be his mother.

fructus

You're not his mother and why too is this emotionally immature and selfish manchild of yours now saving up for a PS3 (for him to use all day long)?.

What are you getting out of this relationship exactly?. I'd have a good and long hard look at your relationship now because its not looking at all good for you.

Has he always been like this? Sometimes resentment and problems can simmer away for so long in relationships that people get stuck in an awful habit of speaking to each other like that.

I know me and dp can go through periods where either one of us behave in a way youve just described. Its unhealthy, but IS fixable. You need to set aside time to have a conversation about it.

IMO, if he is willing to recognise the problem,maybe even find a reason for the behaviour, then you can work it out.

If he blanks it,or becomes agressive and defensive, its a bigger problem.

IME (with the exception of DV etc) most couples get to this point because of a mutual disregard and unappreciation of each other

Loving that name shineon

Can you imagine being pensioners together looking back fondly over your happy life together, and you feeling proud of the wonderful man who fathered your children?

If not, best to start planning to get rid and be on your own, or find someone who cherishes and respects you.

Got to agree with everyone else - I think you need to work out why you are with this selfish boy

Another manchild to add to the list then!My ex was a bit like that, to the point I'd be worried if he started looking for something, and start frantically helping. Then I started lecturing the fucking wankstain on how to behave as an adult, how to communicate properly, how his behaviour was wrong etc. Then I realised I wasn't his fucking mum and we no longer live together. You could try to get him to grow up. But you will probably be wasting your breath. Stress is no excuse. In the adult world, shit happens. Send him back to his useless parents and find someone else.

love your response spikeycow, unfortunately life's not always that simple. there are ups as well as downs, my partner has demonstrated many of the same traits as above,(apart from the PS3 bit), I used to be sensitive to it - now I put it down to his terrible upbringing and his immature and very rude parents. I've had to look at the bigger picture, my man expresses himself in other ways which make up for the fact that his basic communication skills are somewhat lacking.....he's a good kind man though, who would go to the ends of the earth for me and our kids....what can I say? rough with the smooth I s'pose - it has to balance out, if all the OH does is be rude, then obviously telling him to go and fuck himself sideways is a very attractive option.

Can you book him on a course of basic etiquette? It sounds as if he hasn't learned any manners and needs to be taught like a child.

So if he asnwers rudely, tell him to say Please & Thank-you etc. AS for blaming you for his forgetfulness, I suggest that you don't back down and just tell him to grow up and that it's his responsibility to remember. Ah diddums