Clueless - my first proper date in 5 years: If he was into me he would have called by now right?

[Nogoodatthis]

Have name changed for this because I am being such an out of character nutter and I'm actually embarrassed to be so uncool.

So met a man last week (in real life, not internet dating), he asked me out, we went out, had a great night, lovely lingering kiss at the end, both said we really wanted to see each other again, finding a day when we were both next free might be tricky but we'd work something out, got very complimentary text from him later that night once I'd got home (to which I replied in kind), but haven't heard anything since.

It's only been a couple of days. Am I just freaking out because I haven't done this in ages? Or, if he really liked me, wouldn't he have been back in touch by now to set the next date up?

He's def. not married or attached or a crackhead or anything.

How long would you wait to hear back from someone before you think 'ok, they're not interested' and write it off?

And?

yes there are men out there who would lose interest if you texted or called them. But the question is, do you want to have anything to do with that kind of men anyway?

I have a friend, otherwise a nice guy, but he has this chasing issue and when I was single, he kept telling me that I should also pretend that I'm not interested, ignore the calls, pretend to be busy, as men like to chase. The trouble is though that can you really pretend not to be interested for the rest of your life? because this is exactly what happens in my friend's relationships - he meets some woman´and as long as she is (or pretends to be) not very interested, he is over the moon. But the minute the woman actually shows some interest too, wants to spend more time together etc you hear the same story from him "Oh, I don't think it's working out, she is just too keen and pushy..". Every single time, I promise you. I've witnessed it over 10 years by now.

If he is really interested, he will not take weeks to contact you and no he will not be scared off if you contact him either.

And we are going on another date.

I'm so glad I didn't do anything mental.

Thanks MN!

Please don't play games! All this wait 3 days stuff is crap. Obviously don't bombard someone with texts, that would be mental. But IMO a potential new man should be treated like a friend as well as a love interest - if I want to speak to any of my friends, I contact them. As ullainga says anyone who is scared off by you treating them like a human being, rather than playing some elaborate game, is probably not worth the hassle!

Glad to see he's texted now anyway. I hope you're enjoying a blossoming romance with a nice man, lucky you

"IMO a potential new man should be treated like a friend as well as a love interest ... anyone who is scared off by you treating them like a human being, rather than playing some elaborate game, is probably not worth the hassle!"

Totally true.