first week of life changing decisons - how to be sure?

[MIT1973]

Hi,
I have a daughter of 3 and have been with my partner 4 years. We hardly knew each other and we live together in my house. He has always relied on me for everything - and didn't have a bank account etc so gave me his wages which we then used to live off. I have a really good job and a supportive family locally where his are hundreds of miles away. This week his temper finally got to be too much, and after many warnings over the last year, I left and took my daughter with me. I have left him in the house as he has no where or means to go at the moment. He has hit rock bottom and admitted to alcoholism and all sorts of problems, and finally being honest about himself, and now is pleading and begging me to give him another chance and wo he can win my love back. The truth is that even though I still love him in some way and hate seeing him so low, I know deep down that we will never be compatable - even without the drinking and the anger, but I still miss him and have no intention of giving him false hope or going back.
So I have said he can have 6 weeks to stay at the house whilst I stay at my parents, and obviously I am also making sure he sees plenty of our daughter and she stays overnight at the house with him. Now I am worrying about how to make the transition as painless as possible, how we are going to cope with Christmas, and how to deal with the guilt I now have as a result of not being able to love him - when in reality I should probably have ended it all years ago (I got pregnant very quickly when we first met.) plus the thought of being a single parent is also worrying as I think of being lonely. Anyone else had a similar experience with how to deal with an alcoholic but ultimately good ex partner and what would help him to get through it?
Many thanks for reading this far.

Hi Mit,
If he is alcoholic he will be very selfish and manipulative too, so you need to take care of your needs and your daughter's needs as he will always put his needs first. He will no doubt use your daughter to make you feel guilty. Why is he in your home whilst your daughter aged 3, is out of it? His needs come first! Why? He needs "tough love". He will need to be forced to act with responsibility as it will not come naturally. He is not a helpless child, but will allow you to Mother him if you are crazy enough to do that. Remember he is an adult and is responsible for himself. He should be looking after you and your child, not vice versa. Maybe you could try contacting Al-Anon, to ensure that you do not fall into the traps that alcoholics set. Don't enable him, it will only delay him from getting help. He will never change, you are right to leave, but having left, stay away. Remember too, that he is setting an appalling example for your daughter. She deserves a home free of alcoholism. You will need to be very strong and decisive, in my opinion not to feel sorry for him.

Hi BaggyAggy,
Everything you say makes sense and it is good to have the reassurance and common sense to remind me I am doing the right thing. Staying at my parents is fine for my daughter as she has more room to run around and adores my parents, who she hs always seen a lot of. I guess I am just hoping for the most pain free transition and that my ex can get some money together quickly and rent somewhere suitable asap to allow us to start to get into a new routine.

Hi Mit,
Thank you for not taking offense at my rather strongly worded post. From experience, you may find it very hard to shed an alcoholic. If no one supports him, he will be forced to help himself, which is the quickest route to improvement. In all probability he will find someone else to fulfill the role you are abandoning. Please put yourself and your child first, and let him grow up, or not.
Very good luck.

I am worried you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position by letting this man stay in your house. I don't know anything about the law but what would happen if he changed the locks or something?

Are you OK MIT?