Prospective in-law

[dullard63]

Am I being overly concerned - a single man about to marry into the family offers to go upstairs three nights running to help get three young girls (all under 9) ready for bed - their mother was present. While he was upstairs his fiancee stayed downstairs on the sofa watching TV. When their father followed him up on the third night he immediately turned round and came down. At a family dinner, the two older children described the youngest as this chap's "special friend". He and his fiancee (the family member) have babysat the children on a couple of occasions. He has no children himself. Whenever he is with the children it is the youngest - under 4 - he pays most attention to. Would welcome any feedback.

I don't think all single men with no children are necessarily paedophiles.

I think you are overreacting.

Not necessarily at all sinister, but I'd want to keep an eye on it just in case. He may just be really soppy about little children and really looking forward to having his own. But I suppose one never really knows.

Difficult one.

Of course if it were a woman the question would never arise. Perhaps he is trying to ingratiate himself into the family? Does he work with children - is he broody?!

Why did the father do an immediate about turn and come downstairs?

But I have to say what he's doing could look dodgy - I know plenty of men who wouldn't behave like this single man simply because of paranoia.

But I would say I'm biased because I knew someone who was accused of abusing a young girl when he was completely innocent. It turned out the girl was being abused by a member of her family, but it wrecked my friend's life tbh - he's steered clear of children ever since.

What I'm saying is, this man is behaving in a way which is arousing suspicion and using some strange language.

What does your instinct tell you, dullard63, have you met this man (or is it you?!) and what else has been said in the family?

It would bother me that he made an immediate u-turn when the father followed him upstairs. Why?

What relationship do the kids have to the fiancee?

The finacee is their aunt.