Had kids too soon!!!

[crazydazy]

Met DP and within two months I was pregnant, wasn't sure I liked him (bit too smooth) but gave it a chance for the sake of the baby!!!! Went for scan and saw how much he loved that baby even though she hadn't been born. I think from then on every day I loved him more and by the time DD was born I was totally smitten and so was he with both of us

Anyway, had DS two years later (had coil fitted so definitely was not planned) went ahead found out was a boy and felt my life was complete!!!

Bet you are wondering what my complaint is? Well I love DP and the kids to bits and wouldn't change a thing but to tbh I think I would be a lot happier if we'd had kids say a year after meeting each other. We never ever have time to ourselves and never get away for the night. Just wish sometimes we'd been more of a couple as we seem to be just parents for 90% of the time.

Just having a moan thats all and wondered if anyone else felt they had kids too soon.

In contrast, me and dh were together for 10 years when we had ds.
We kind of grew together in our relationship but would definitely definitely not been ready to have kids before it happened.

I believe that every thing happens for a reason, this is why this has happened for you.
Do you still think that your DP is too smooth and have you ever told him this?
Did he laugh

Ten years wow......, I wonder if we will make it to ten years !!! Not so sure sometimes!!!!

Yeah he's still a bit smooth, by that I mean always perfectly groomed and hair perfect and in place. I was used to the rough and ready types before I met him!!!

He's still a bit camp when he dances though!! Now I just tell him what I think!!!

He's very in touch with his feminine side!! Which is one of the reasons I love him I think!!!!

I am a great believer in fate Donbean, always have been, the way in which I got pregnant with both my children was so fated!!! I got pregnant the first time me and DP ever made love and I was seeing a guy for a year and not using contraception and never got pregnant (in hindsight I think I was so very stupid as the guy was a real loser and would have ended up on my own with a child)!!! And then DS came along whilst I had the coil fitted!!!

I think when your life is going well you have a tendency to nitpick and wish little things could be better. If you read some of the threads on here you will realise how lucky you are

Yes we were the other way round, almost 13 years after we met!

I can understand why you must feel as you do

I know how lucky I am Compo, I have a wonderful DP who adores his kids when things could easily have gone the other way and he could have left me alone because I didn't really know him that well when we had a baby.

But sometimes parenting just seems to take over and you forget that you are a couple.

yes that's true, but I don't think that change even if you had longer together before iyswim. Although it is always lovely to wistfully think about what could have been.

Things do happen for a reason though, I think the reason I got pregnant so easily - apart from the fact that we had sex with no contraception is that is the only way I gave my DP a chance as he was definitely not my type, he was way too smooth and by having a baby I gave him a chance and now 6 years down the road I cannot imagine why I wasn't keen on him when I first met him because he really is a nice guy. Don't get me wrong he has his bad points but all round a good father and partner!!!

They say love grows and in my case that seemed to be right!!!

im now pg with my 2nd (im 23)and i had my dd when i was 17 - yes i felt that was too young but i wouldnt change it, i just wish id been older so i could have handled it better but things happen for a reason and my life was going seriously down hill and she made me sort my life out in a way, also know what you mean about feeling like you n dp have only ever been parents n not a couple as im in this situation with my dp as i already had my dd when we met. sometimes i wish we could see what life would be like just the two of us but that will never happen and im happy with our life, my dp is amazing and so is my dd

i left it until i was 41 before having a baby and tbh i have found it difficult to let things 'go' - the relationship with dp, the travel, the job. I thought that having waited so long to be a mum i would love it, but the lack of independence is very difficult for me. dd is gorgeous and much loved, but it has been an inner struggle and still is.

We have done things early, and know that one day when they've flown the nest then we will have our "us" time back again !

agree with mumvicki, when my dd1 is 23 ill be 40 and dd2 will be 17 - so heres to being 40!!!!!

by then ill have some finacial independence and can just up and leave for the weekend if i fancy it and dp will be secure in his job, i wont have had to drop my career in the middle to have kids as i've never had one i can plan what i want to do when the kids are older. its working out quite well actually