I've seen so much good advice on other threads, it has spurred me on to ask for some help on my own situation.
We've been together since we were teenagers and almost all our sexual experience has been with each other.
When we first got together I had loads of ishoos about sex because we weren't married. I had a lot of guilt about extra-marital sex so basically didn't want to enjoy it, wouldn't let him touch me much, just wanted it to be over. Husband was a horny teenager at the time so there were lots of rows about him wanting sex constantly and me wanting it never until we got married.
I hoped things would change when we got married, because then I could stop feeling guilty and enjoy sex.
However, we have been married for 7 years and I'm starting to think that the early bad start may have doomed our sex life.
Husband has no confidence in bed, wants me to tell him exactly what to do and when. He will ask me before doing anything. He hardly ever initiates sex; he says he wants it all the time and I should just let him know when I'm up for it.
I can see how this is my fault. But in the 7 years we've been married I have tried hard to put things right:
Bought sex books and toys
Talked to him a lot about what I like and tried to get him to talk about what he likes (all he can come up with is 'sex')
Described to him my sexual fantasies
Seen a councillor about my own ishoos
I am fed up with being reasonable and remembering that he is a good guy and that this all stems from the rules and boundaries I erected years ago. I want to scream at him that actually, the sex is rubbish and could he please show some initiative and take some responsibility for our sex life.
I am sexually frustrated. He must realise that things are not as good as they could be. But like everything else in our relationship, it will have to be me that finds a way to fix it, because he is Mr Passive and does nothing unless prompted.
What should I do?