Some friends do odd things when you you split...

[FrazzledDad]

Some seem unsure about what to do with me now but are quite happy to go on as before with my ex.

Some seem incapable of coping with our split and are unable to commune with with either of us.

Some seem unable to acknowledge that anything out of the ordinary has happened to me and avoid any related discussion like the plague (and no I don't talk about it all the time).

Some seem like they'd rather not see me than ever make an effort to accommodate my child care timetable.

...and some... well, I do have a few left but I'm feeling a bit depleted.

batty

Did anyone believe your DH do you think?

I left my DH a month ago after 28 years. Our friends and neighbours have all been very kind. Some don't quite know what to say. I am cheerful and breezy and say something like "He is a very kind person but I didn't want to live with him any more. No one else is involved and no one is to blame. The children are staying with him and seem to be coping well". They sigh with relief and we talk of something easier.

My problem is that he seems to be convinced I am hiding another man somewhere. (I am not) So far he has suggested five men I might be having an inappropriate relationship with.

I am hoping if I keep my head down and wait he will find someone else and stop focussing on me. I am not sure what he is telling our friends though.

Whenallelsefails - I think some did, mainly because I didn't immediately don sack cloth and ashes and fall apart

Thanks mildsteeljoyce, I appreciate that.

I lost most of my friends when I left a long marriage. I then became closer to one or two single women and we had some good times, then they too dumped me when they found partners!

My closest friend at the moment also left her husband of many years around the same time as I did, and she lost all her friends too, apart from me!

It's something I find quite depressing actually, and since the dumping episodes by the single friends I am very wary about making new friends.

I substituted work for friends, but it would be nice just to have someone to go out with now and again. I don't really know what the answer is. I don't want another partner, just a wider circle of friends!