I started to type this out

[GeorgetteHeyer]

and now I don't know who is being more stupid of the pair of us!

All I know is that I'm upset, cross, fed up and need to rant. Apologies for the length of the message.

My DP is overseas with work for six months. I've supported this all the way and he's coming back in 2 weeks for a week, halfway through IYSWIM.

We've been communicating via skype and Crackberry messenger quite a lot to keep the costs down. Don't get me wrong, we still talk on the phone, but only about twice a week and we skype once - the time difference is 6 hours so it's not easy.

I've been having a really rough time at work lately, and he's been busy too. Last night I sent him a bbm to say I hoped he'd had a good day, enjoy your run tonight, I love you, sleep well etc. He said he loved me too etc etc. I then asked if we could skype on Saturday as well as Sunday as I wanted to hear all about his week and I'm missing him.

Woke up to a message which completely ignores what I said, suggests we skype on Sunday night my time as 'the weather forecast is great so I want to spend the day in the sun' and that when he comes back in 2 weeks 'we'll need to share some costs to help manage things - I know you are also having financial problems.' {confused] Things are tight but not that tight!

Then he said that he misses me and he knows he's been crap and he promises to be all over me when he gets back

And he wants me to meet a friend of his and his Ex Wife's whilst he's back.

I flipped. And cried. And sent back a ranty message saying that frankly I felt like I was right at the bottom of his list, underneath getting some sunshine. And that I always pay my own way so the comment on money hurt me. Which he's read but hasn't responded to.

Do I apologise? Stick to my guns? I'm just really, really pissed off.

I think you're just missing him a lot - if he's somewhere nice where a day out in the sun would be good, can you really blame him for wanting to do that? It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or miss you; it just means he wants a day in the sun - I think you might be putting 2+2 together and coming up with 5.

The money thing might mean that he is skint and wants to borrow from you but knows that things are tight so that might not be possible, rather than that he's challenging whether you paying your own way.

You'll see him soon and I'm sure it'll be fine. It's hard when you don't see someone for ages - you start over-analysing everything.

When someone returns a message which appears to ignore what I've said, it oftens turns out they didn't get mine.

Are you sure yours was sent correctly?

It's really hard to communicate by texts - you can't judge the tone of someone's voice they would be using, some people (men especially) are not great at condensing what they want to say/mean/feel into texts either.

I think you are feeling the strain of his being away, you need to give yourself a little treat to get through this - he is using the sunshine as his treat, why don't you treat yourself too?

I hope that when he comes back you have a lovely time, being apart is so hard and I know what it's like to let yourself get bogged down in it. Like Hassled said, you start over-analysing everything because you have so little contact your brain starts filling in the "in-between" bits!

Take it easy on yourself, admit that you are finding it stressful and concentrate on being positive and loving - you are still very much a couple, despite the miles between you.

So I've not completely lost my marbles then?! Phew! Thank you all.

Mumi - yes, on blackberry messenger you get a little D for delivered and a little R when they've read it - so he's definitely got it. Has its good and its bad points as a method of communication!

Hassled, Sparkly, I think you're right about the overanalysisng thing. I'm not begruding him a day in the sun, at all, he works hard and should enjoy his downtime - but he's doing that on Saturday as well...I don't see why he can't just skype me for half an hour before he goes off to enjoy it.

The money thing isn't that he's skint, he's just cautious (which is fine, I am too), it was more the implication that came with it. Like you say, I will stop overanalysing it and take a step back.

I'll send him a nice email. I do love him to bits, he's wonderful, but you're right, I'm finding it really hard and it is stressful.

Which country is he in? Talk Talk have a deal where for £10 per month you get free national and international calls (most countries, but it depends where he is.)