He doesn't seem that interested in me anymore - is this the start of the end?

[WhiteKnee]

DP used to have a really high sex drive, he'd want it everynight and if he didn't get it at least every other night he'd go in a mood saying that it had been "ages" since we last did anything etc. Then about two months ago he just changed. He stopped pestering for sex, didn't seem to have any interest in me at all anymore. No longer wanted to have baths together (started saying it was too hot), only hugged me on the sofa begrudgingly, only hugged me in bed for like 5 minutes before saying "right, night night then" and turning away from me. Last night I realised we hadn't had sex for over a week. Not entirely unusual for us not to have sex but very unusual for that to be down to him not initiating anything. Last night he had his arm around me in bed, I moved his hand towards my breast and he touched me for a while before saying "if you turn to face me, I'll be able to get to you better" so I did! He seemed suprised that I'd taken him up on it but he began to kiss me, started on foreplay, then we started to have sex. Five minutes in and he seemed to be just going through the motions, I knew something was wrong and he stopped and said "have we lost it?" I said "lost what??" and he said "have we lost momentum?" I said "no ... "
So he carried on, seemingly begrudgingly and then stopped suddenly and pulled out saying "that's unusual, neither of us came - oh well" I said "don't you want to carry on??" and he said "Actually, it's gone down, sorry". I reached over to him, hoping to get it back up and he laid down and said "there's always tomorow, night night" wtf???
He then seemed to have a bit of a guilty concience, kept stroking my hair (which he NEVER does) and trying to make me laugh, trying to make conversation etc.

So what's going on? Name changed for obvious reasons.

Oh dear. It does sound like he might have been trying to tell you something...'have we lost momentum' in terms of the relationship, perhaps?

Maybe he just feels you're not too compatible in terms of sex, and is trying to tell you that he wants to split up.

I might be reading it wrong but it doesn't sound too good tbh

I'm sorry. Have you been together long?

The obvious suspicion is that he is having an affair, or thinking of starting one. Have you thought about this? And don't just say that's impossible, he's not the type. I can't think of any other reason why there would suddenly be this emotional and physical distance between you.

around 2 years Flight

Commeuneimage, I have thought about it, yes. I have snooped and found nothing though and although I'd never say it was impossible (I believe everyone is capable of cheating) I just don't see how he could - he's always either at work or at home. He never goes anywhere else.

I think you need to sit down and have a proper, non confrontational chat about it - men are often really useless at saying things they know will hurt you. Don't worry about him cheating etc, he's probably not if there's no opportunity.

have a proper talk and maybe you'll find out what's wrong.

So sorry - this must be so painful for you

Well it sounds like mabe he's not up for it quite so often but don't take this as a total rejection. Mabe as he has settled into the relationship he dosn't feel liek it as often because it's noot the honeymoon period. Dopsn't mean he's having an afair or dosn't love you.
I'd try and talk; there's clearly something on his mind.

Libidos fluctuate. Some people's are affected drastically by stress and life events - talk to him before taking this personally.

Sex may have slipped down his list of priorities for any manner of reasons. He may even be relatively unaware that he's neglecting to show you a preferred level of affection or desire.

Maybe he feels guilty about the fact that he used to pester you for sex and is now feeling like he can't win.
You do need to talk to him about it rather than snooping and fretting.

is this the start of the end?

Could it be the end of the beginning?

My DH is having similar problems - but we have been together a very long time, and he has an enormously stressful job.

I would be hesitant to say "oh, it's just normal" given your circumstances and that you've only been together 2 years. This is something you should be talking about. Believe me - get it out in the open sooner rather than later because the longer you leave it the more difficult it becomes.

After 2 years he isn't likely to be wanting sex every night. It is a bit odd that he suddenly seemed to lose interest. How old is he? Is he under a lot stress at the moment?
Stress can really affect sex-drive and let's face it, a bloke's sex drive does start to wane over time. I would also say it's highly unlikely that he's having an affair, or has lost interest in you even.

Maybe he has realised "oh sh*t, I don't really want to have sex every night." And instead of being sensible and saying to himself "oh, well, we have been together 2 years, I'm not getting any younger and my job is quite stressful right now" he has leapt to the stupid conclusion that there is a) something wrong with him or b) he no longer fancies you. Men can be a bit dim sometimes.

I have done some reading about erectile dysfunction and a lot of it is not in the penis but in the mind. If a guy thinks he can't stay hard, then this can become a self-fulfilling cycle.

It's very WTF when it first happens, but don't be too perturbed. You do need to talk to him about it though.

I'm on the side of stress/health problem, too. "Have we lost it?" is a slightly odd thing to say at such a moment - it could mean anything, including "have I lost my erection". Has anything bad happened to him in the past few weeks?

At 2 years you are at the end of your honeymoon phase, and you can expect some changes in your relationship. I agree it's essential to start a habit of talking about things NOW. Otherwise you could end up with one of those 'strangers together' relationships, which I'm sure isn't what you had in mind ... Be gentle but firm! Good luck :)