My relationship is not in good shape.
The sex has dwindled to nothing over many years. This is my choice. DP and I have had joint therapy and I have been on my own too. Before the DCs we talked about this and DP insisted we stay together. I realised that I was asexual. Over the years he has found it very difficult to deal with and we have talked again. He was adamant that he wanted to stay with me whatever. No sex at all since DC3 was conceived. I don't feel it is fair on him to live like this.
Been together 20 years.
Have 3 dcs 11, 6 and 4.
I lost a lot of respect for my DP over the years over various things and now have realised that I don't love him at all in any romantic sense. I did before. Now he just irritates me and we have nothing to talk about. I love him as a friend.
I feel we must split but have all of the usual fears about the DCs and life as a single parent. DP also had some kind of breakdown a few years ago during which he told me afterwards, he heard voices telling him to harm DC1. I feel afraid of precipitating something similar.
I know I need to talk to him and tell him how I feel but am afraid to open the can of worms. Once out they can't be put back in!
Have namechanged but am regular poster.