Alarm bells?

[poshsinglemum]

I've ''met'' another man on the net.

TBH I don't look his photo and think ''wow'' but he's not a complete minger and I don't want to base my relationship on looks.

Anyways he seems like quite a nice guy BUT I am wondering if the following are red flags;

He seems a bit too keen. Weve not even met on a first date and already he texted me first thing this morning and last thing last night. When I didn't answer he said I wasn't very chatty when reality I was plain busy with getting breakfast done and dd sorted.

He has a ten month old son and reckons that his ex wasn't very nice. Is this projection?

He has mentioned marriage and babies already as he really wants a proper family etc.
He has referred to my dd as a little princess.

He wants to pick me up on a first date. I don't think taht this is safe or appropriate as I don't know him although he did understand when I voiced my concerns.

What do you rekon? Creep or genuinely nice guy? Trouble is he keeps saying I sound really sweet etc but he dosn't even know me.

run

My dp was like this at the start, I really liked him but had to tell him to stop texting/visiting soooo often! I think he was pretty new on the dating scene (as was I).
He said a couple of things about his ex, but to be honest he had basis for this (I know this now years later and he was pretty restrained), but he never went overboard on hatred or anything.

Marriage was kinda mentioned early on and he actually proposed a year in (I said no), but all in all he's ok, we're still together 5 years later, he was honestly like an over eager puppy at the start!

I would go on the date, but I would be very cautious. He may not know the internet dating 'protocol' ie public places (im not sure I would) and just be a nice guy, or he may be an absolute psycho! With reference to your daughter, I take it you've shown him a pic or something, if so, I would take this as politeness.

Difficult to tell re the wow factor from a photo

But could never date a man who used the phrase "a little princess" [shudder] and would be concerned about a man who wanted to pick up from home address, not just the safety, but really how unaware/ unsavvy is he to women's concerns?

Obviously it can be hard to make a good first impression and he might just have gone about it all wrong, but just because you've met some gits give yourself credit and do trust your instincts.

I have not shown him a picture. I think I'm going to blow him off. Not in a sexual sense either!

High maintenance at best.

Emotionally unstable/stalker/controller/abuser at (almost) worst.

Basically all you can do is go a date, it may take a couple before you can make up your mind. I'm with you on the red flags..because of my experience..but sometimes perhaps we are looking for them??

Make your won rules about he where/when..but go with an open mind, he may turn out a waste of time...but thenagain you never know!!

why would he not be with the ex when they hve such a young baby?
if she threw him out he must be appalling as surely she needs all the support she can get at this time...

if he left her with such a young baby, what does that say about him?

just a thought

Oh the "little princess" think would put me off immediately if not sooner.

I was seeing this one particular doughnut who saw a picture of my dc in my purse. He said "your dd is beautiful, much prettier than my dd" . That will be the dd you haven't seen since she was a few months old and only know what she looks like from Facebook then?

This man was so wrong in so many ways, I could list them here but none of you would believe me, it took me 6 weeks to dump him because I wasn't sure if I was over-reacting to him as he revealed ever more unpleasant traits, in my defence I was a bit fragile after an 8 year EA marriage. So what I am trying to say PSM is listen to those alarm bells, I know you are lonely and pissed off but the instinct is there to protect you, listen to it.

Ok, here are two unbreakable rules for internet dating, which should be particularly stuck to by those who are not sure about their own responses and instincts.
First, get a PAYG phone or at least a seperate simcard that is just for dating contacts, so if one turns out to be a pest you can just chuck the simcard.
Second, your first date should ALWAYS be in a public place that you make your own way to and from. And anyone who wants your home address before you have even met should have it politely pointed out to them that you are ffollowing standard dating safety advice. If you get any response to that other than 'OK sorry, I wasn't thinking, of course I'll meet you at [venue]' cancel the date and say to the bloke 'Sorry, you're too pushy.'

Oh it's the little princess comment, something weird about him using that term, especially as he has never met dd

If you are atall unsure, why waste a night of your life? If you are going, I like the others suggestion of a coffee, something short.

Not this bloke is it? shudder

No but lol- oh my god!

I think meet him, but NOT be picked up, have a friend on phone standby, and for lunch not an evening thing. You've nothing to lose by going on a date and like others have said, you really can't tell from initial overtures - he might be oversharing a bit wrt his ex, but you might end up talking for hours over lunch.

Safety first but give him a go.

I think your instincts sound in perfect working order, posh. Don't meet him. He's squicky.

I have been on a few internet dates and would never give the gender/age of my DD away until I have met the person.

This guy might genuinely want all the things he is saying but he sounds desperate and is probably grateful that you even replied and got into a conversation with him. If you are still curious then meet him in a public place for a quick coffee, then still be cautious.