I feel I finally understand, and now I can't stop crying.

[Aimsmum]

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Well, can I just say, well done.

I know it is very hard being with a gambler, but cannot imagine how hard it is being with one when you have a child as well. (I was with one a long time before dd was in this world).

I really feel for you. x

Huge repect to you Aims for holding it all together.

And well done to him, despite being in the grip of an addiction, he had the moral fibre to walk away and protect two people he obviously loved very much.

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No. Things will get better. This is just the start. Maybe I will tell you about my life one day!

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sympathy to you aimsmum, it's probably a good next phase in the grieving and closing down the relationship though - and i really don't mean that in a glib way

good luck

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Just don't do anything rash. Sleep on it, and give yourselves both time. You obviously care very much for each other, and just have to try and use your heads, work out what is best for everyone.

Not to belittle your very moving post Aimsmum, bu I should think you are very tired if you were up most of the night. If I were you, I would go to bed and try to catch up on your sleep and then you will be able to think more clearly in the morning.

Still, what has happened sounds like it will help you in the relationship you are forced to have with him through you both being parents to your dd.

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What do you mean? Waste of a relationship, or waste for ex?

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Aimsmum - the think about anger is that it can be a bit like a security blanket- losing it is troublesome

I think what may be behind this is that while your ex was being a twat it was easy not to see the man you loved in him. Now you've had a glimpse of the person he was, it is only natural to be sad that he was lost to you and your DD for so long

I would say to try and keep your communication with him as open as possible- no matter what happens, it will be best for your DD to see mummy and daddy being nice to each other even although they don't live together any more

Yeah, he sounds quite different from my ex - in that he didn't care about anyone else (or so it seemed). Yours sounds like a decent bloke when you get past the problem.

Hear, hear, soapbox - especially the last bit.

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woh! bit like a weight dropped on you i bet!..still i think yourelationship as dd's parents will be better now as you know the full story and wont resent him for walking away, as you now know the full story..still must be very hard for you to get your head around..hope you're ok

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you shouldnt feel guilty because he has only now been honest with you..when it was happening he was lying and keeping things from you.so you act according to what it happening at the time..you shouldnt be guilty, in the position you were in, you did it all right..now you know more and he is opening up..you can accept what he is/was and try to move forward..but make him understand just because he has opend his heart doesnt give him a place back in your home.gook luck

good luck

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