my ex

[evie38]

im need of advice. my ex has gone back with his girlfriend. we have both got kids by him. when he comes pick the baby up. he tries it on with me and offers sex. when he pisses me off. i tell her. i know i shopuldnt of done that. i was pissed of. but she thinks im a crank who likes causing trouble.obviously told her alot of crap.he makes out to people im this crazy, cranky horrible person and he s this nice person. he s one for playing games, how do u treat people like this. i just feel angry, cos i feel he s won. please help .xx

oh thanks for ur advice. it has helped alot.how do i cope that my son isnt include in their little family life. which i get hi rate. dont care how he treats me, but my son. no way. this week it was his other sons birthday. who is 1. he told me last sunday he was going to pick him up on monday after work at 6.30. saying he was going to stay overnight. i said ok. to my surprise. i phoned up monday. he was of work, she was of work. so they planned it together. i thought my son would be included. then he didnt mention he had a week off. i dont care what they do together but at least spend time with him. his attitude i dont have to tell u. i said in a way yes if u want to see ur son. but he doesnt care. how do i deal with this. i just feel like saying. well dont see ur son. can u tell how do i deal with someone like this. god he makes me mad. xxx

You and your son are a family. YOU are enough.

Your son is quite young? Then he doesn't know any different. If your ex doesn't come for your son when he says he will, just go out, do something else with your little guy.Maybe for your benefit you need to stop chasing him. Stop worrying about him. You can't make him be a good dad. put the energy into having fun with your son, and building your own full life that doesn't have a great big hole in the middle where your ex used to be.

You can do it!

:)

oh thanks it has helped. i just feel angry all thime. im sure she s happy with the fact he just sees him when he feels like it. so he can give all his attention to her son. god she s smug. she s got her man, got the family life. zxx

Perhaps he offers sex because you cheated with him before?

And how has she got everything?

He sounds an utterly vile prick who you would both be better off without tbh.

Can´t he just come to collect his son & take him out & then drop him back at the end of the visit?

can i stop him from seeing him. what i do is ask questions. i think i have to learn is dont ask questions about what he is doing with my son and i do ask what is she doing. i know i know. ha ha. oh he is vile. but in her eyes, he isnt.

Why do you care what she thinks?

It sounds as though you dont have anyone you can turn to to give you sensible advice. He is no good for you and to be honest be gratefull that she has taken him off your hands. If he is a badun it wont be long till she gets rid of him, as long as you are not there to take him back. Listen to the good advice you will get on here because a lot have people have been where you are now. Dont ask what he is doing, dont ask what she is doing, just take care of your son and yourself.

I think you have had some very good and sympathetic advice from some very nice people.

Maybe I'm not so nice, because I think you need a reality check. You cheated with a guy in a long-term relationship. Now you want to stop your son seeing his father.

You have start dealing with your anger, because TBH you do sound like a crazy crank. And until you take some responsibility for the situation, your son is the one who loses out. You can't do horrible things (like phoning this poor woman or stopping contact) out of spite and anger and expect any good to come of it. And blaming the ex for 'winding you up' makes you sound about 7.

yeah to be honest u might be right. but u dont really know what this guy is like. i said to him if u dont want to be caught dont do it. im sure im not the only person that has done things in spite. i want to stop being angry. but when he knows im just getting on with my life. he then does things to wind me up. i just have to learn that when he comes and drops the baby off. just dont say anything and rise to whatever he s trying to do. ur right. im going to stop. if she s taken back knowing he s a liar and cheat. thats up to her... look it like that.

everyone thanks for ur advice. i ve had a good think about things. u have helped alot. thank u. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I´m wondering why you´re angry with her tbh.

He´s the one winding you up.

And trying to have sex with you whilst with her shows how little he thinks of both of you imo.

im angry with herwith a few things. when my child was born i said to him. i would like to me her. then i found out he was taking the baby down to hers and she knew i didnt know. other things aswell. well im not going to tex her anymore saying things like that anymore. actually im not even going to talk to him. im kjust angey anyway. i ve had social services knocking at my door saying i was harming my child and i was unstable. which obviously is untrue. i know its someone close to me who could of done this. its either her, mick, his family. or even my parents. which i dont get on with my step mum. which she has done things in the past. i live in liverpool. i dont know many people. my mates down in kent didnt know my address. so this is the crap i get. when the ladies (social services) came round realise it was untrue. said to me unfortunately someone is got out to get u. i cant not forget this. well my ex said i should.xxxx

I think like others have said, you will be so much better off if you find a way of stepping away from this man.

He is not making you happy and keeping you dangling so you can't move forward with your life with your LO.

I bet he is gorgeous, your LO.. and it is sad that this man is spoiling your precious time with him by making you feel so uncertain.

People like this are just cruel game players and you are better off without him, although it will hurt badly for a while. letting go of the anger, which is tough will be a step forward to getting your life back and being more like the smiley laughing person you remember being

Be kind to yourself.. you sound like a lovely Mum,

oh thanks. im not this cranky person really honest. im just angry. im going through counciling. she said to me when ur angry its covered by pain. i ve never been like this before. its funny when he met me i was always happy and smiling,werent bothered about anything... he used to call me smiler. i know i get there, i know i shouldnt tex her(his girlfriend).. i think she knows deep down. she chose that life. he s very crafty, cos he leaves me alone, realise i might be moving on, he starts doing his tricks to get me hi rate. i really dont want to be like that. xxx