Namechanged: embarrassed, woeful etc etc. I can?t believe that something that?s so minor is having such far-reaching effects on my marriage.
Will try to be efficient about explaining it all.
I love my husband dearly, he is a devoted father to our DCs, shares in all the household work, is responsible and hard-working, and very handsome. We have on-going gripes between ourselves, but I don?t think anything devastating. Except ? that he at some point in our relationship started to breathe through his mouth. I think I?m sure he didn?t always do it, though I suppose it?s conceivable that in the first flush of passion I didn?t notice ? but now he does it pretty much whenever I?m not actively nagging asking him not to.
I find it utterly repellent. It makes his lips wet and his breath smell, it contributes to various horrible table-manners issues, it just looks awful. If I don?t say anything he does it pretty much all the time, and then denies that he does; if I do say anything he feels nagged and disrespected and disapproved of ? as anyone would, I guess. It?s had a devastating effect on our sex life ? between the mouth-breathing itself, which leaves me irritable and turned-off, and the horrible atmosphere caused by me going on about it, which understandably leaves him feeling awful, we?ve pretty much given up.
I honestly can?t see where to go from here ? I can?t see anything that I can do that will change the situation, which basically means that either he has an epiphany of his own accord and works out a way of acknowledging and breaking the habit, or I just have to put up with it. And the thing is, however petty and unimportant in the grand scheme of things the problem is, I don?t think I can just stop finding it as awful as I do. But you can't (and nor do I want to!) leave your husband because he breathes though his mouth!
Has anybody had any experience of dealing successfully with this sort of impasse? I?ve tried leaving it, and it only results in him thinking that things must be ok because I?m not making a fuss. Nagging clearly a disastrous strategy. So what on earth to try?
Am posting and running, as will be out for the afternoon - but I will come back later on in the hope that someone's got some wisdom to pass my way.