OK, I know how stupid and pathetic I sound, but what is this?:
DH occasionally (maybe 4 times a year???) bangs me, subtly, when he is cross. He maybe moves his elbow out when he walks past me, banging me, or pokes, pushes, or bangs me whilst reaching past me for something. This morning in the throws of a 'discussion', he reached to take ds from me in the dark and pushed his hand in to my face and then a moment later elbowed me in the face.
It's always done very subtly, even though he has done it in front of the dc, they would not notice. It's done in such a way that he could deny having done it, and he often does, although he does normally admit to it afterwards.
It never actually hurts, but it feels violating, and is very upsetting.
I have described it as violence, which he disagrees with, and tbh that does seem somewhat melodramatic, but passive aggressive doesn't seem to be a strong enough definition.
I suspect he may a mild borderline personality disorder, and I have looked this up on the internet and often follow threads on here about those types of things.
The relationship is a bit of a disaster, and we are going to see a counsellor next week. My agenda is to see if there's any way we can effectvely parent our children together without damaging them, for a little longer.
Does anyone have any experience of this type of behavious. I would like to know what it is, what it should be called. It is deliberately hard to define, and not being able to articulate exactly what it is makes me feel powerless.