When Mr Right seems to be Mr Wrong

[MrsSawdust]

Ok, so I don't really believe in all that Mr Right nonsense, but really, how much incompatibility can be endured?

My DH can't go a single day without eating meat. I would be practically a vegetarian if I wasn't with him.

My DH is a very heavy drinker of red wine. I can't stand the stuff and hardly drink any alcohol ever.

My DH likes James Bond films, Star Wars films and American disaster / thriller type films. I like arty / world cinema / subtitled type films and he won't go and see them with me.

My DH spends any free time on his Playstation or iphone games. He hasn't read a book for years. I love reading. I read all the time and long to talk to him about books.

My DH is a Formula One petrol head. He is obsessed with it. I can't stand it. Even the noise of it sends me potty.

My DH is loud and brash and unsubtle and at times, embarrassing. I am quiet, calm, thoughtful, and often described (not flatteringly!) as aloof.

There's plenty more.

Yet, we've been together for the best part of 20 years. And we still love each other. And he really looks out for me in so many little ways.

SO why do I sometimes find myself sitting across from him as he rants on about something I completely disagree with, thinking 'Am I totally wasting my time in this relationship?'

Please tell me this is normal.

Mine OH sees,does anything i want too do.
Sure it won't last tho.

I think it is healthy, the wife and I have lots of different hobbies. About the only one we share is Tennis.

But then again we do come form similar backgrounds, so I guess that helps.

You didnt mention fiscal responsibility.. do you have similar attitude towards money? Thats usually a 'biggee'

Funny, DH and I were talking about this last night, after watching a programme about finding Mr Right on the telly.

We don't really have any 'interests' in common (other than a million years ago when we both used to enjoy going clubbing every weekend!). He loves football, I hate it, I love reading, he never reads anything, he loves Peep Show, I think its crap; I could go on and on....

But I think the important thing is that we are really well matched in our outlook on the big things, like how we want to raise a family, long term goals, money, etc. When we got into our relationship we knew we wanted the same things out of life, and it must have worked because years later we still do.

Ok so we don't very often sit together watching something on tv; he'll have the football on and I'll have my head in a book, but at the end of the night we both like a bit of you know what (with each other!)do does the rest of it matter really?

Sorry should have read 'so' not 'do' - doh!

you sound ok! I remember shopping with a friend for another friend's bday present. everything she picked up I pulled a face at, everything I picked up she said was horrible.

We suddenly looked at each other, practically said together " why are we friends?" and fell about laughing. that was years ago and we are still great mates despite having very different views on life. sometimes it just works.

agree re money, also think it's important that you're both happy about division of household labour, childcare etc. hobbies and diet shouldn't make much difference if the basics are sorted.

Footlong - our backgrounds are similar in some ways but VERY different in others.

In money, he has a better grip on our finances than me (I tend to bury my head in the sand but he checks our account activity all the time and pays chunks off our cards etc) but he's also more likely to make large unnecessary purchases.

I've had two serious relationships with men who I had some overlapping interests with but ultimately, I would say we were incompatible.

Didn't work for me, but that's because the 'big' issues weren't quite right. Plus, I am very sociable and second partner really wasn't.

I dream of meeting someone with the same interests and things in common with me, but they would have to have some differences, as I want to be challenged and educated by my partner, not just complemented.